Should any of you have followed any of my many comments about this or that on tennis.com from back in the day, you may remember this remark: “Mardy Fish is a complete embarrassment to U.S. tennis.”  The tennis fan out there might take offense, noting that Mardy is a silver medalist (Athens, 2004, Mens Singles), and that Fish also made the Quarterfinals at the Australian Open in 2007 and the US Open Quarterfinals in 2008.

In my defense, nobody cares about Olympic tennis, and Fish lost to Nicholas Massu of Chile, who was never to be heard from again, in that gold medal match.  I’ll grant you that Fish did quarter down under in 07, but that didn’t give him much sway for me either–I considered it a fluke performance.  Fish had a mop of ugly, unkempt hair, but it was shaved underneath and around the sides (so early 90’s).  He had a fat belly (muffin top maybe, spare tire to be kind), his name was Mardy (?)and though he served big, his game was grotesque, his body was disgusting–reflective of his work ethic–and unfulfilled potential is an embarrassment to me, especially when it comes to American tennis players.

Slowly I have begun to give the man his due with his 08 Quarterfinal at the US Open.  I have seen him play a good number of his matches, and 3 times witnessed him almost take out Novak Djokovic, and one time, he beat Roger Federer, albeit Roger Federer suffering the after effects of mono.

But this is about a very different part of Fish’s game.  Gone is the muffin top, and the dumb hair (now he looks like a storm trooper), and here is Stacey Gardner, one of the models on Deal or No Deal, now Fish’s wife.

First I’ll give you the full face plus ample left breast shot.

Here’s like a Stacey Gardner little “disco night” pic.

Then you got Stacey, straight hair, with the little tribal collar.

And the lovely couple at their wedding.

Stacey has posed a challenge where it was not thought possible, rivaling the most stunning Brooklyn Decker (Brooklyn holler!), Swimsuit and Victoria’s Secret model, and wife of American tennis star Andy Roddick.

Of course there’s no real rivalry–Fish and Roddick are good friends, sometimes hitting partners, often Davis Cup teammates, and may have even played some doubles together, hit a nightclub or two in Vegas together, and took part in some all night card games with their other good friend and American, James Blake.  Fish and Roddick also have a great deal separating themselves as players–Roddick is former world #1, a US Open Champion, and a 5 time runner up at major events.

Does anyone smell shameless exploitation of pretty females going on here?  If not, just take a whiff.  And now peruse these shots of Brooklyn Decker, who graced SI’s swimsuit cover most recently published.

I would call this the “I am jealous of the water” shot.

Here we have Brooklyn in a little evening wear, before we get to the near obscene…

This shot is called “Damn.”

And this one, “Thank you.”

I’m gonna go with Brooklyn Decker over Stacey Gardner, though I’d let Stacey hold my “briefcase” any time.  The crack staff over here will look long and hard for some Gardner bikini shots, in the interest of all that is fair and balanced.

At a late US Open night match in which Roddick played back in September, ESPN’s Mike Tirico commented that Brooklyn Decker needed her man, Andy, to win fast because she had a photo shoot early in the morning and needed her beauty sleep.  The legendary John McEnroe made the following retort: “You know what?  Something tells me she’s gonna look okay.”  

 We definitely congratulate both Roddick and Fish, on all of their accomplishments.  Especially Fish, even though, as usual, Brooklyn wins. 

Peace,

–Crack

P.S.  By now you’ve seen just about all the pics in my young media library.  Because I like you so much and in the interest of full disclosure, here are the other 2: