Mortal enemies, Kelly B. and Bethenny F. (above).

You know what?  I can not fucking stand Kelly Bensimon.  It was fun and games at first, and I thought she was crazy when she joined the cast last year, and showed up late to a drink with Bethenny to say “I’m up here and you’re down here” and “we will never be friends” but couldn’t she have just acted how she felt without such classless indignity?

To Bethenny’s credit, she’s the only one of the housewives who doesn’t have a silver spoon in her mouth, and who actually is a real girl.  But for her to endure this crazy bitch while pregnant, and her rants, like ‘she has knives on her tongues’ and “she’s trying to kill me” and “she’s trying to hurt my family” and then the big crying scene when Bethenny gave her a bag full of gifts for her to enjoy while they were on their vacation, I mean, Bethenny?  Maybe you should kill her already.

Even though the episode is over, the “episode” won’t die because Kelly insists on upping the dumb whenever anyone sticks a microphone in her face.

“Real Housewife” Kelly Bensimon wasn’t having a nervous breakdown on Thursday’s show, but a nervous “breakthrough.”

The star of “Real Housewives of New York City” blew up at her costars in the Bravo series’ most recent episode while the five of them were vacationing in the Virgin Islands.

“It was a nervous breakthrough,” Bensimon told People magazine of the scene she made on Thursday’s episode of the reality series.

Kelly insisted that Bethenny went to the press with a story that damaged her family and her 2 innocent little girls.  Oh, really?  What story was that?  Wasn’t it Kelly who put herself in the press by beating up some dude who pressed charges?

We’ve joked about Kelly and her weird bikini body and poor use of the english language, and she could have been edited in a way that would favor Bethenny, as she has claimed, but what we saw on that boat was not just editing.  And assault is assault, and multiple assaults are multiple assaults.

I understand a lot must be done to make dramatic television out of some rich, stuck up bitches.  Jill’s veterinarian’s house call?   Please, although it was great to see that dog shitting all over the place.  But the notion that we will have to see Jill, a super cunt, and Kelly, pitted against Bethenny in forced scenes for the rest of this show’s life is terribly undignified for Bethenny, who deserves to be paid exponentially better than these rich bitches for this torture.

One last thing on Jill: now she wants to reconcile with Bethenny.  Why?  Because Bobby told her she was wrong.  Hello!  She needed Bobby to tell her that?  He must have also told her the sky is blue.  I’m glad Bethenny didn’t reconcile with her, and I hope that Kelly chokes on a chicken bone.

–Crack (