Dina Manzo, formerly of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The much awaited sit down between Dina Manzo and Danielle Staub went down at a posh New Jersey restaurant called Chakra, where wiseguy/new reality TV star Danny Provenzano and his goon friend John waited in the parking lot so they would be on the scene in case someone had to rush in and get Danielle’s back, and despite Dina’s intentions, she left without closure, left to give Danielle the universal crazy signal (above), left in the midst of a white girl real housewives real hair argument, and then fired off an email to Danielle the next day entitled “closure” that Danielle read aloud to Kim G and Danielle’s new crew of mis-shapen hag friends, no doubt assembled by Bravo.

The goon crew comforts a shaken Danielle at Chakra (above).

Danielle reads Dina’s email (above) to her “friends.”

Danielle’s new crew (above).

When Danielle was finished railing about Dina and the rest of her Manzo arch enemies, she launched into her latest problem–the sex tape just released of her and ex-beau Stephen Zalewski.  While Danielle shudders at the indignity with her planted friends, the ex, Stephen Zalewski, a friend of Jacqueline’s husband Chris Laurita, was playing poker at Chris and Jacqueline’s house, in the “initiation” game for Ashley’s boyfriend Derek, who was being invited to wiseguy poker night for the first time.  Laurita takes his nephew Albie to some Italian deli to buy some cold cuts for the night, where he drops $543 on fresh mozzarella and prosciutto, and pays the bill in cash.



At the poker game, Zalewski is pulled aside by Jacqueline and Teresa, who find Zalewski initially disgusting for his hand in the sex tape, but after hearing him out, are content that the fault of the tape lies with Danielle and her whorish ways.  Speaking of which, Danielle, who is now scared to date because of how badly men treat her–citing the Zalewski example, goes with Danny, John, and some other wiseguys over to the Bada Bing with Kim G, where the old ladies work the pole in an effort to get their “sexy” back. 

It is there that we are horrified to see Kim G coming out of her boy shorts.  Credit goes to the producers of the RHONJ, who got me to look at a 50 plus year old woman in her t-back.  Can there be a maximum age limit set on strip club patrons?  By the way, Caroline, who called Danielle “pure evil” earlier in the episode, is looking better and better for avoiding Kim G, and dissing her attempt for a lunch date.  Caroline voiced her concern that Kim G is playing both sides last night, which is obviously the case.  After we see Danielle showing off Dina’s email (a Jill Zarin-esque move), we then soon see Kim G scurrying over to Jacqueline’s, looking for information on the Dina-Danielle meet.

It’s not like we don’t understand why.  Bravo needs someone to bridge the gap between the Manzo’s and Danielle, who have now gone 7 episodes this season, and have only been in contact at The Brownstone and when Dina met Danielle at Chakra.  Since Dina left the cast of the show last night, in an effort to avoid having this type of drama in her life, our best chance to see more Danielle-Manzo friction may lie between Danielle and Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley, who is in a facebook war with Danielle, in which Danielle told her she was “stupid” and had “fat arms”, to which Ashley retorted that Danielle should get her “square tit fixed.”

Only in New Jersey, friends.  We deeply regret not having a close-up shot of Danielle’s square tit for you, but we promise to get that to you as soon as we can.  As for Ashley, who we have panned for having to go to summer school and for suggesting she was “special ed all the way”, we look forward to more feistiness out of her going forward.

In other RHONJ news, we hear that Teresa’s castle is on the market.   





And that was quite a set of pig balls we were treated to at the farm, but still better than Kim G’s t-back.

–Crack (http://crackbillionair.tumblr.com)