“Seest a man diligent in his calling, he shall stand before kings, he shall not stand before mean men.”


This page is not yet five months old, and already, we may boast of a few things.  More people have come here to read about Ecstasy than used the NYC homework helpline in 2009-2010.  We are proud to have all of you.  Especially those pill reporters who took the time to test or sample their pills, or both, and submit their findings to www.pillreports.com, and then took more time to come here and make comments about their experiences, or to exchange a kind word.

There was steamroller, who famously plugged a Blue Pokeball and then hopped in his car for a drive from Los Angeles to San Diego.


chemlover out in Texas who we must thank for reporting and testing from an important area to know about–a border area where we know a lot of pills are coming from.


And how could we forget Florida’s most diligent and meticulous tester, the great kaspk, who not only has time for Pill Reports and for us, but who also videotapes his test results and youtubes them?


That’s just to name a few.  We have to thank all of you, because whatever it is that we’ve put together on this little page is being noticed.  A few weeks ago, I was contacted by www.dancesafe.org’s president, who likes what we do over here, and he asked me to join forces with Dancesafe and do some writing and some analysis of Ecstasy, to track some trends in Ecstasy, to track certain pills, and obviously, to reduce harm in our community.  To put the relationship between Dancesafe and Crack in some perspective, I would refer you all to the incomparable Special Ed’s lyric, about the finder and the founder (“You was the finder/I was the founder/I was around a/long time ago”).

It is an enormous honor for me to be recognized by Dancesafe, undoubtedly the most important institution in our scene there has ever been.  I was practically a kid, going to www.dancesafe.org multiple times a day, debating about my MDA pills (Sunflowers, Ones) fervently, or checking out other pills, or just scrolling through pics of pills and trying to familiarize myself with their chemical composition.  I even made a close friend through Dancesafe–perhaps the friend I respect most–on Dancesafe.



How’d that happen?  We were arguing about pills, of course.  If I never had any association with Dancesafe after that, I’d say I had won big, because friends for life don’t grow on trees.  But Dancesafe’s kid, their little boy, who would still be at Sound Factory at this time 10 years ago, or at mixed night at Limelight, is all growed up.  And for some reason, the institution has taken notice, of little old Crack and his Pokeball and Quebec amp updates, and our breakdown of www.ecstasydata.org’s lab results.





It’s not like we don’t have our own credentials either, forgive the lack of humble speak.  I have sat in Dr. Shulgin’s living room on Mount Diablo, and watched black hawks soar through the Shulgin’s skylight, while Sasha showed us his picture albums–looking at photos from house parties of Timothy Leary and Oscar Wilde’s sons, among others–while the Dr. asked me questions I am still contemplating 6 years later.  When I started this page, it was partly with a wildly selfish intent–to promote my writing, and the film company of my partners and me, a little outfit we call Formula 411.  Dr. Shulgin is one of our projects, Terry Singeltary Sr., the world’s foremost researcher on CJD and pryon disease, is another.

Of course, I am a bit of a historian on the New York underground–proudly so–and my fiction is defined by realism and my crystal clear memories of New York’s scene, from the 1990’s on, and it is funny and disturbing as hell.  I am very honored to bring my New York City roots to Dancesafe, and promise to represent my underground hardcore, while learning and analyzing your underground–particular talents of mine.

Hey, I can barely set an alarm clock, and straight up, I am a scientific layman, but I will analyze your pills and data every which way, so that you know exactly what you are dealing with.  My pleasure.  It’s my calling–I’ve always said it was, and now at my advanced age, when I should be thinking about golf or some shit, I am still dissecting pill reports.  Don’t get the idea that this particular layman is going to be bad for your knowledge of the scene, and that my reports won’t be chock full of information.  And Dancesafe’s, and my own scientific experts vett these reports so that any layman issues come to you with a distinguished expert’s polish.

Please follow the work that Dancesafe and I do in collaboration, as well as the work that each site does independently.  Note the links in our right panel, and take advantage of them.  The essence of Formula 411, my essence, is that of the greatest heroes of our past–the ones who put it on the line for the common good, who weren’t afraid to have a voice, despite however “illicit” the cause might seem to some–like Franklin, Voltaire, and Shulgin.

While I possess neither the wit or intellect of any of those men, I do possess a similar spirit when it comes to fighting for and preserving our rights.  Dancesafe is a vital resource to the community, and the loss of any such resource would we be a clear danger to the scene.  With your help, Dancesafe isn’t going anywhere, and now Crack has been given an invite to the party.  To their credit, they have rolled out the red carpet for me so far as well, helping me along greatly and welcoming me to an enormous degree.

Look for our maiden voyage together very soon, as I have analyzed the latest www.ecstasydata.org’s lab results for Dancesafe, and it will go up early in the week.  First there, and then here.  But this collaboration is a monumentous one in that we are both totally comitted to stamping out bad pills, and speaking for myself, to put pressure on makers to come up with a better and more diverse product for us.

With the help of some friends, we’re going to shine the spotlight at the issues plaguing the scene.

Word, Solomon.

Be Smart,

Crackbillionair (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com, www.crackbillionair.com)