Beth O. (above) as she accepts some bullshit award that we all know should have a name like “Wife of Legend” award.

On Tuesday night, Beth Ostrovsky, or Stern rather, graced the Bravo airwaves to do her ultra nice, painstakingly inoffensive North Shore Animal League shtick, no doubt because Andy is a huge Howard fan, among other reasons.  Most of which also relate to Howard.  We could see them all part of the same Hamptons circle, and Andy did Howard’s show recently, holding his own despite following an impossible act–Sacha Baron Cohen–appearing as himself.  Great stuff.

So we could picture WWHL wanting Howard and with no shot at landing him on the cable show, settling for Beth.  We are not Beth fans.  We have been hard on her in the past, most recently probably when she published her book about dogs which we said was probably stupid.  Beth has been real savvy when it comes to using Howard’s fame to get herself notoriety, entertainment reporter gigs, and nouveau socialite status.  Very savvy for a B model (do not dare call her a super model now) who has always seemed overly nice in an annoying way, but not really very interesting at all, nor particularly beautiful either for the reverential tones which people use to describe her, like she is some sort of Carmen Electra.

But we watched what happened live the other night and were rewarded with perhaps Beth O’s most interesting appearance ever, anywhere.  While her appearances on Sirius XM’s The Howard Stern Show are so pre-canned and innocuous  with Howard bending over backwards to protect her, and supremely boring for us, Andy Cohen got a gem out of her the other night, although it may have been a remark she’d like to have back.

Andy did a nice job, showing some old pics of Howard, leaving no doubt as to why he is so quick to call himself ugly.  Especially during the NBC years.  Horrifying.  Then he asked her how long they had been together.

“13 years.”

“13 years?”

“13 years.”

So that is Beth declaring that number 13 , not once but twice.  We thought it odd, being the huge fans of the show that we are and having some familiarity with the timeline of Howard’s personal life. And so we hopped right onto the net to check out where 13 years put Howard.

As we thought, Howard was still married to Alison in 1999, the year when Beth and Howard supposedly got together.  They were not divorced until 2001.  Now Howard and Alison were separated in 1999, according to reports.  But Howard often recounts this whirlwind fast lane bachelor period that occurred after he broke up with Alison, when he was “single.”

We would certainly love some clarification on these issues.  Howard, like our good friend Jeff Lewis, has a right to enjoy his personal life, and we are not trying to make him out to be an adulterer.  Moreso, we know there are times when Howard, who proclaims himself to be always truthful, does not tell the truth.  Is this a case of that?  If it isn’t, then Howard essentially met Beth and has been with her from the moment he separated with Alison, in which case, he didn’t have much time for the red hot bachelor period which he often boasts of.

As we’ve also iterated, we are not fans of Beth.  That’s our right.  She’s done absolutely nothing to win us over.  She’s not talented, not funny, not quick on her feet, and not nearly as beautiful as portrayed.  We’ve never liked hearing the stories of how pussy whipped Howard is at her hands.  So this would be an ironic twist to the Howard/Beth love story in the very least, and would provide us with a very concrete reason to justify our distaste for Beth.

Andy should have her back on so that she could clarify (i.e. change her story).  And good job on sneaking in a question from Marianne from Brooklyn.  While we sometimes cringe at how overly gay WWHL is, overall the show has provided some very high quality entertainment.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)