I bet on myself, I wet myself, only the classics on my shelf, only the sickest tracks, only the illest crack, I knock the volley off, I blaze a fat spliff–I don’t even cough, throwback humanitarian, I rail against Mad Cow and B.P.A., I scheme and scam for ways to get my hands on pure M.D.A., holler for Master Shake, holler for grass court tennis, RIPs to good friends Robert and Dennis, to Limelight, to Factory, but Vinyl was my spot, amid the treachery, because one should tolerate a lot for fine art and freedom, which I promise you, which I’m compelled to bring, and if you get heat, you better call Saul, or give Fabricant a ring. Thanks for hearing out my clownish verse, contact psychicseer@mac.com if you’ve been cursed…stick with me if you want to laugh and learn some shit, if you’re alternative. If you disagree, just debate with me. I love that shit. Formula 411, Brooklyn.


People been asking who is Crack, let’s see…Did you catch the dude with the white furry Kangol along the wall in the back of Cielo? Stealthy. Betcha didn’t even see those puffs I stole off my bat. Betcha didn’t see that Kitty I bumped off my thumb. Old school. I still think those kids at pill reports are dumb. Crack’s a humanitarian but he hates people. Crack’s machiavellian but he hates evil. Not the best at tennis yet but I still love to play. Doesn’t mean I can’t hit a backhand like Richard Gasquet. Crack got some notoriety now and is writing for pay. Many trades, scrape K with many razor blades, I cut thick straws behind classic crackhead shades. My Cannabis–just the highest high grades. My hits? I test ’em right on the page. 7400–my novel? The rage. Le talent ne signifie pas de pouvoir mais aucun ne fait le pouvoir le talent moyen. Keep readin’. Formula 411, Brooklyn.


He loves trippin’, spinnin’, candy flippin’.  He’s vapin’.  If he has to, he’ll use a metrocard for scrapin’.  The base he gets?  The best in the market place.  Makes his mind race.  Leaves him frozen in his fuckin’ place.  Strains?  Usually has at least 2.  Sealeds?  Cracks ’em open with pliers, old school.  Doesn’t favor alcohol but once in a while, he’s coffee Patron sippin’.  Off defected?  Mad tracks he’s rippin’.  Often times he’s got some 411 for you.  And he loves others that open up your mind too.  The Formula.  Brooklyn.

29 Responses to “About”

  1. mrs.bourdain Says:


    love your blog. why do you use wordpress? i wish you would convert to the tumblr world!!!

    mrs. bourdain

    1. Mrs. Bourdain,
      Thank you so much!

  2. Kaspk Says:

    Awesome blog man, really like it alot.

    Very professional =]

    Kaspk Outtttt ❤

    1. Kaspk,
      Thank you! We like you a lot too. Keep up the great work!

  3. Gay Prince Says:

    I smell Man Meat all over you.

  4. im dyslexic Says:

    yo i live your blog man, im dyslexic from pill reports (my names backawards) i make all the reports regarding chicago’s mints, i love reading your point of views on em man keep it up! oh btw u forgot to upload one of my reports homie from last week i updated it 2 days later.


    1. Hello dyslexic! I’m Crackbillionair from pill reports. Those Mints/Bowling Balls look very interesting. I enjoy following them, and all the other pills out there. Great job you are doing. Thank you. I am on vacation, but will get your other Mint report up very soon. And thank you for the kind words, bro. They are appreciated!

  5. […] August 3, 2010 Green rolls equal more domestic E in Chicago? Posted by crackbillionair under 69s, 7400, Alexander Shulgin, Bowling Balls, Chicago, Formula 411, Ketamine, MDEA, MDMA, Mints, NYC, Wisconsin, amphetamine, cannabis, science Leave a Comment  Green Equals or Mints (above). 2010/07/31 at 2:59 am […]

  6. TallRob Says:

    Hey man,

    I’m new to your blog but wanted to say hello. I like the vibe you got going here. I go by TallRob on pilreports.com (even though I have never posted anything) and live in the Detroit area. You may have already seen this…but I thought it would be good to share regarding the positive things happening in Detroit (except the pipes)..this 3 part video series is hosted by Johhny Knoxville and features a slow but consistent rebirth of Detroit through the Arts scene.

    Hit me up anytime.

    All the best!


    1. TallRob! I was not aware of the movement in Detroit, but I am aware of how many pipes you guys are bombarded with. We have a lot in New York, but someone can pretty much always find something decent. Still, piperazines are the biggest problem by a mile we have right now in our counter culture community. I will check out the video series. And thanks for reading and commenting, and for the nice compliments. I will definitely check you out. Respect.

  7. Hi, nice to meet you !

  8. Sven Says:

    Hey! I’m in Chi-town and really want to get my hands on some of the good E floating around, but really am not sure how to get any, since I’m new to the scene. Can you email me privately with some ideas or anyone that may be able to help?

    1. No. Listen bro, you smell like a fucking pig. Just my two cents. If you can’t figure out how to score, you are a dumb loser. I am here to inform the community–not to help anyone get drugs. Honestly, I am very offended by this comment. Normally I thank people for reading and commenting, but for you it’s gonna be different. Go suck a dick. Maybe you’ll catch a buzz off the white stuff, troop.

      1. Sven Says:

        Wow. My apologies. No offense intended. Again… sorry.

      2. Apologies are accepted. We’ve done a series following amphetamine pills in Quebec, and part of my anger w/regard to that situation is over the fact that these idiots in Quebec are marketing adulterated pills–or any pills–on pill reports. We don’t need any of our best resources on E data shut down because of drug seekers/pushers. Take that to heart. I am only here to shed light on the issues regarding our community. And you should only be here to read about those issues, not to solicit narcotics.

  9. Patrick Edwards Says:

    I love your blog. Really, it’s great. I disagree with your assessment of Rafa’s game (a pusher…really?), but I do love your tennis articles. I’ll be coming back here a lot.

    1. That’s kind, Patrick. Many thanks. And a pusher, yes, most definitely. He aims to play long rallies, not to hit winners. He plays 15′ off the baseline. I like tennis, not track and field, sir.

      1. What are your thoughts on Novak’s game? Sort of a middle ground between Fed and Rafa?

      2. Some may think so. We think Djokovic has the perfect game for this modern baseline to baseline homogenized version of the game now played. In your terms, he has Nadal’s defenses and Federer’s tennis talent (though Federer is under valued as a defender), or a somewhat lesser approximation of it. I have always liked The Djoker, for a 2 hander. He has, philosophically, always gravitated more toward aggressive play and has idolized great shot makers and aggressive players like Sampras and John McEnroe, who he also works with and practices with during down time. In the Federer-Nadal matchup, Federer is neither patient nor aggressive enough. Djokovic is just right. His sense of when to go for it is almost always correct. The other thing that Djokovic has over Federer in the matchup is the better return game. He has broken Nadal 15x in their last 2 matches. Bottom line, you have to make Nadal pay for his second serves, and all the serves he just spins in. Federer can’t do it and Djoker does do it. That Federer did not break Nadal once at Wimbledon 08 and that he made only one of 18 conversions at RG in 07 is unconscionable.

        Statistically Federer was the more dominant in prime, but since then the players have only gotten better, so what Djokovic is doing is more amazing. Even at Rogers’s best, he had to worry about Rafa. Djokovic has no real rival in his prime right now. Djokovic has more power off the ground and off the return, and has more patience, than both Federer and Nadal at their best. I think Djokovic is now the prototype for excellence, a little more Roger than Rafa, but it’s definitely his own deal he has going on right now, because he has also adopted this clutch element that both guys dream they had…saving MP’s, and breaking back with backs to the wall, against elite competiton.

        One of the keys to what Djokovic does is taking the ball so early, more reminiscent of Agassi than anyone else, but Federer tends to do it also when he is hot, or in the zone.

        Thanks for your comment and enlightened question!

  10. Paul Wallin Says:

    ay yo craack i jus came across ur blog an im diggin it keep up the good work and keep these noobs informed im down with the test kits all day

    1. Thanks Paul. Glad you like, bro.

  11. Betty Rogers Says:

    Tastes like a sour grape.

    1. Is your phone # part of your gmail address? That would be very interesting and so so wise.

  12. KidB Says:

    I enjoy your blog and your writing about tennis. But I must say that your previews of matches involving Roger Federer are so biased as to be ignored. Your recent preview of his match against Nadal at IW was just absurd. Nadal has owned Federer since Nadal was 17 years old. Why would he cease dominating him?

    Let’s not get hung up on a few garbage-time end-of-season indoor hard court wins by Federer. Those are three points shots with two seconds left on the block when you’re down by 11.

    When Nadal wants to beat Roger Federer, he beats Roger Federer. And this simply cannot be disputed.

    1. I don’t like claiming injuries, so, no excuses as to Roger. I wouldn’t exactly call the YEC garbage time though. It’s fast court tennis. Fed is never going to do too well against Rafa, especially since Nadal gets to serve to Federer’s backhand on most decisive points, but Federer has only lost to Nadal once on a fast court in his career, at Wimbledon, the year he had mono. So on these slow courts, which are everywhere, Nadal is serving high to Fed’s backhand, and that’s the whole matchup.

      That said, PE, you do have me pegged. I love Federer and I despise Nadal. And I have been wrong a lot lately with Roger, dating back to the London Olympics, where he was not sharp enough to win gold.

      You know what? He’s still got 17 majors and 5 YEC’s, and he’s not finished yet.

      1. KidB Says:

        Fed is great, but he just doesn’t match up well against Rafa.

        What non-grass courts do you consider to be “fast” courts?

      2. Patrick, ironically enough, the fastest courts on the tour are places where Federer and Nadal never really match up, through no fault of Federer’s. The two fastest locales are the Cincinnati ATP 1000 and the Paris Indoors Masters 1000. Fed has won Cincy 5 times, I believe. Nadal has made that semi once. In Paris, Fed has played good tennis, routinely goes deep or better, while Nadal has made that semi once also I believe, losing easily to Djokovic. If you notice, Nadal does nothing after Wimbledon every year, except his prime peak years, 2008-2009, when he won the Olympic gold and the USO. Most every other year, Nadal wins zero tournaments beyond June, which was the case in for Nadal, pre 2007 and Nadal, post 2009. After the USO, most of the surfaces are faster, especially, the indoor circuit, and Nadal never gets to Federer at such events, except the YEC, where Federer has handled Nadal easily, and will continue to do so. The biggest matchup, in terms of anticipation, would be at the USO which used to be medium fast and is now closer to just medium. I believe Nadal could take Federer there, or vice versa, depending on conditions. Fed has lost 1 night match, coming last year against Berdych. At night, conditions are slow, and Fed doesn’t have the pop to hit through the court like Berdy, who also benefitted from having the extra time on that court. If Nadal got Fed at night there, he’d win. If Fed got Rafa with the sun up, Fed would cruise. But on windless indoor courts, Fed has never lost to Nadal, and I believe the only times Nadal has beaten Fed on a hard court at all were at IW and Miami and Melbourne, where one surface is slower than the next.

      3. KidB Says:

        Thanks for the info. I knew that the Cincy courts were really fast. I didn’t know the courts at the Paris Indoors were faster than those at the YEC.

        I think you’re forgetting about USO 2010, where Nadal didn’t play Fed, but (imho) played at maybe the highest level he’s ever played. He was cranking up his serve and trying to shorten points throughout the entire two weeks, and I think he did a really job on both fronts. That he hasn’t been able to stylistically replicate his play from that tournament is probably the reason why you’re not a fan of his.

        BTW, check out this really interesting post on court speed: http://heavytopspin.com/2011/09/13/the-speed-of-every-surface/

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