Some time ago we wrote a blog called Cannabis cause can not be stopped.  Since then, shows like Weed Wars (loves it!) and American Weed (kinda loves it despite useless pig cops and moron politicos hating on the plant) have further highlighted the legal medical marijuana scene.

Where it exists.

It does not exist on the East Coast.  For shame.  Are the people out west entitled to a higher degree of medical care than the people back east?

It certainly seems that way.  Because it is that way.

People on the East Coast need to WAKE THE FUCK UP!  California and other states are light years ahead of us in terms of their progressiveness, ability to mobilize politically, and the strength of their convictions and intelligent advocation in favor of legalization.

We are so disgusted by the inequity between the rights of the people in legal states as opposed to our own that we may not even light up today (or vape up even).

And frankly, the absence of legal cannabis is not only unjust, but it is racist, blatant ageism, and discriminatory, promoting very harmful opiates over cannabis, which are a scourge upon the nation and obvious Machiavellian all cost capitalism.

So another happy 420 for Cali.  And another bullshit fucking 420 for NY.

Weed Nation needs to vote strictly, down the line, for the pro-legalization ticket.  And the people here need to make their voices heard.  Cali has it because they want it more and their citizens are smarter than ours.

Bottom line.

So fuck the “holiday.”

Crackbillionair (

Captain Jim Courier, John Isner, Andy Roddick, and the Bryans (above, from left to right).

This weekend Andy Roddick finished what he started in impressive fashion, thumping the 2004 double Olympic gold medalist Nicholas Massu on Friday, and then clinched the tie early Sunday with a come from behind four set win against world #165 Paul Capdeville on a very impressive slow red clay court in Santiago, Chile.  Roddick, widely panned for his clay court prowess, was broken exactly once in each match.  That’s not to say he played dominant first strike tennis.  Roddick, who has grown tremendously as a player on clay and as a guy who thinks a match out–2 of his lesser abilities historically–showed off both skills on Sunday.  After dropping the 1st set to Capdeville on grotesque and horribly slow red clay that groundskeepers watered on changeovers, Justin Gimelstob, who The Tennis Channel was too cheap to send to Santiago, said from an LA studio (so low grade!) that Roddick had let his opponent grow too comfortable and would have to change his tactics.  Such a pronouncement 3 or 4 years ago would not have sat too well with the close Roddick observer.

First time captain Jim Courier did not bat an eyelash.  In fact, the proven winner and distinguished major champion, showed nothing but calm the entire weekend, even when Roddick’s opponent Capdeville, in his match Friday versus Isner, seemed to at worst cheat and at best display questionable sportsmanship at a critical stage of the fifth set on a break point which he lost.  Isner hit a winner from the back of the court which Capdeville did not play, claiming he heard an out call.  Right.  We were extremely annoyed.  It was a classless move on the part of the Chilean, an obvious ploy that we’ve seen tried on occasion by the desperate, but which we can’t really recall a big league chair buying.  Enter Friday’s clown show.  The chair called the ball a let, and Isner who couldn’t buy a break point all match, literally, until that point, didn’t get another.  Gimelstob once again provided the dead on commentary, reading our minds by taking the poor returning Isner to task.  G-Stob called Isner’s return game a glaring weakness, noting that the big man could not cry about calls when he generated so few opportunities for himself.  About 1 game letter, Isner began to cramp, and once his legs had tightened up, he was basically done, but he did manage 4 holds in the decisive 5th set, and with the stolen break, would’ve won the match.  In fairness to Isner, the kid shows tremendous promise, has steadily improved since taking the tour by storm out of the NCAA’s, and is the American who most deserves the Davis Cup Singles B role.  Unlike Sam Querrey, Isner shows excellent killer instinct, a volleyer’s touch, and doesn’t shrink from big moments.  Isner has had several breakthrough wins while Samurai Sam has yet to notch any of note, especially at the majors.  America’s only other option, world #15 Mardy Fish, is also someone we aren’t comfortable seeing in James Blake’s B role.  Fish is a very bad big match player.  If he was ever going to beat a Chilean in the big spot, it would have been at the 2004 Olympics where Massu bested a then chubby Mardy for the gold.  We don’t put a lot of stock in Olympic tennis for the sake of its actual tennis importance, but as an American sports fan, we don’t give Fish the option to lose to a Nicholas Massu with gold on the line.

Back to Roddick, who stayed level throughout a tense second set that really was a must win for both guys.  Roddick blew a late break chance, shook that off, went into the breaker and then blitzed Capdeville, getting out to a 5-0 lead which carried him to the set win.  It was all down hill from there.  Roddick dominated the last two sets in uncharacteristic fashion.  He had managed only one ace through 3 sets.  Roddick, who tends to play a passive style too much these days, was on the ‘perfect’ surface for it.  He gave up the net and counter punched to perfection, hitting more winners off of his usually defective backhand wing in one match than we can otherwise recollect.

Roddick has long been due a re-appraisal by the stubborn Andy-can’t-play-on-clay faction.  He’s come through plenty of times for America on the dirt, and more times than any other American in the storied history of Davis Cup, now having clinched 12 ties (5 on the road).  And Roddick has played several fine matches at Roland Garros in the last 2 years, making the round of 16 in ’09, which is something many doubted he’d ever do.  In our opinion, Roddick might be the best player of all time who has only won 1 major, and had a guy named Roger Federer never came around, Andy would probably have several major titles.  Losing 4 major finals to Roger Federer is nothing to be embarrassed about.  Roddick is one of few guys to ever have been #1, to have won a major, a Davis Cup title, and to have been in the top 5 for 5 consecutive years.  And unlike Roger, Roddick always seems to turn out for country. 

You all know of our devotion to Federer, but you should also know we try to tell it as we see it.  It doesn’t sit well with us that Federer abandoned his country’s Davis Cup squad.  We know his arguments, and we understand them.  He needs to pick and choose, he can’t risk too much exposure in a non major setting…we get it.  But Nadal can?  A frequently hobbled Nadal usually doesn’t duck Davis Cup, and to his credit, he has a championship to show for it, as does Roddick.  Federer doesn’t take Davis Cup calls from Severin Luthi, one of his own coaches, and while the rest of the men’s tennis world is sliding around on disgusting mud courts, Federer is hob nobbing with Pete Sampras and Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles (below). 

Again, we get it.  Federer is the all time mens singles major champion with the Swiss flag behind him, so what does it matter that he doesn’t have a DC title?  A tennis purist would say it does matter some.  There is no definitive greatest player of all time, and everyone from Borg to McEnroe, Sampras, and Nadal have won the DC, and in most cases, had at least one title they were the impetus behind.  The only greats we can think of that have not won the Davis Cup are the ultra selfish and loutish Jimmy Connors, and Federer.

Perhaps Federer, like Connors did, will feel the hole in his immortal resume, and come back to Davis Cup in his twilight years.  And unlike Connors, Federer is great enough to pull off such a thing and win a late DC title, maybe even into his early 30’s.  Maybe Federer has lost a bit of his ‘major edge’ because he isn’t as tested in Davis Cup lately and in the best of 5 set format as the last 3 guys who have beaten him at majors, Soderling, Berdych, and Djokovic.  As for the other Jimbo, our new skip, Jim Courier, we are ecstatic to have him (especially over the hack that is Todd Martin), and he must be ecstatic that Roddick takes his calls.   Let’s face it.  Courier is a winner.  He’s been there and done that.  Chile in a mud storm in front of the worst tennis fans this side of France while getting potentially tie deciding bad calls does not phase him in the least.  Not only does Courier play the same style, more or less, as the top American singles players, but he was a better player than all of these guys, and has greater insights about top tier tennis than the former DC coach, Patrick McEnroe, who had less talent than Courier, less desire, a lesser work ethic, less athletic ability, and we think, a lesser mind for the game in general.  We think it’s not a coincidence that the national junior program is foundering with PMac at the helm.

Next up for the US squad will be Spain in the quarters, about one week after Wimbledon concludes.  Before anyone gets around to anointing Spain, let’s all keep squarely in mind that home countries have an enormous advantage in Davis Cup.  In Courier’s first home tie as captain, he will decide the venue and the surface which as yet, is unannounced.  The surface is sure to be a fast hardcourt, and though there might be attendance concerns, in a play from the British play book, we think it would be very wise to consider Flushing Meadows for the tie, the way that Britain tries to play their ties on Wimbledon’s centre court.  America always chooses hards, and for a few years now, have only had the pick off-season, choosing slick indoor surfaces in Baltimore, Birmingham, and Austin.  You can’t really play this thing indoors in July.  Should the Americans opt for a more intimate setting, we think Cincinnati would be perfect.  The Cincinnati Masters Series has long been considered the fastest outdoor tournament in the world.  We can think of no recent Spaniard who’s had any success there. 

Also, we love the dynamic created by forcing the Spaniards to play on fast hards in the shadow of Wimbledon, especially if Nadal goes deep at SW-19.  In fact, we can hear Nadal crying about the turn around and surface switch from here.  Don’t be surprised if he asks out.  If he doesn’t, we look forward to seeing him finally clash with Roddick on a fast hardcourt, and we like our other guys as well versus the Spaniards on the hards with stars and stripes flying.

Crack (,

“Seest a man diligent in his calling, he shall stand before kings, he shall not stand before mean men.”


This page is not yet five months old, and already, we may boast of a few things.  More people have come here to read about Ecstasy than used the NYC homework helpline in 2009-2010.  We are proud to have all of you.  Especially those pill reporters who took the time to test or sample their pills, or both, and submit their findings to, and then took more time to come here and make comments about their experiences, or to exchange a kind word.

There was steamroller, who famously plugged a Blue Pokeball and then hopped in his car for a drive from Los Angeles to San Diego.

chemlover out in Texas who we must thank for reporting and testing from an important area to know about–a border area where we know a lot of pills are coming from.

And how could we forget Florida’s most diligent and meticulous tester, the great kaspk, who not only has time for Pill Reports and for us, but who also videotapes his test results and youtubes them?

That’s just to name a few.  We have to thank all of you, because whatever it is that we’ve put together on this little page is being noticed.  A few weeks ago, I was contacted by’s president, who likes what we do over here, and he asked me to join forces with Dancesafe and do some writing and some analysis of Ecstasy, to track some trends in Ecstasy, to track certain pills, and obviously, to reduce harm in our community.  To put the relationship between Dancesafe and Crack in some perspective, I would refer you all to the incomparable Special Ed’s lyric, about the finder and the founder (“You was the finder/I was the founder/I was around a/long time ago”).

It is an enormous honor for me to be recognized by Dancesafe, undoubtedly the most important institution in our scene there has ever been.  I was practically a kid, going to multiple times a day, debating about my MDA pills (Sunflowers, Ones) fervently, or checking out other pills, or just scrolling through pics of pills and trying to familiarize myself with their chemical composition.  I even made a close friend through Dancesafe–perhaps the friend I respect most–on Dancesafe.

How’d that happen?  We were arguing about pills, of course.  If I never had any association with Dancesafe after that, I’d say I had won big, because friends for life don’t grow on trees.  But Dancesafe’s kid, their little boy, who would still be at Sound Factory at this time 10 years ago, or at mixed night at Limelight, is all growed up.  And for some reason, the institution has taken notice, of little old Crack and his Pokeball and Quebec amp updates, and our breakdown of’s lab results.

It’s not like we don’t have our own credentials either, forgive the lack of humble speak.  I have sat in Dr. Shulgin’s living room on Mount Diablo, and watched black hawks soar through the Shulgin’s skylight, while Sasha showed us his picture albums–looking at photos from house parties of Timothy Leary and Oscar Wilde’s sons, among others–while the Dr. asked me questions I am still contemplating 6 years later.  When I started this page, it was partly with a wildly selfish intent–to promote my writing, and the film company of my partners and me, a little outfit we call Formula 411.  Dr. Shulgin is one of our projects, Terry Singeltary Sr., the world’s foremost researcher on CJD and pryon disease, is another.

Of course, I am a bit of a historian on the New York underground–proudly so–and my fiction is defined by realism and my crystal clear memories of New York’s scene, from the 1990’s on, and it is funny and disturbing as hell.  I am very honored to bring my New York City roots to Dancesafe, and promise to represent my underground hardcore, while learning and analyzing your underground–particular talents of mine.

Hey, I can barely set an alarm clock, and straight up, I am a scientific layman, but I will analyze your pills and data every which way, so that you know exactly what you are dealing with.  My pleasure.  It’s my calling–I’ve always said it was, and now at my advanced age, when I should be thinking about golf or some shit, I am still dissecting pill reports.  Don’t get the idea that this particular layman is going to be bad for your knowledge of the scene, and that my reports won’t be chock full of information.  And Dancesafe’s, and my own scientific experts vett these reports so that any layman issues come to you with a distinguished expert’s polish.

Please follow the work that Dancesafe and I do in collaboration, as well as the work that each site does independently.  Note the links in our right panel, and take advantage of them.  The essence of Formula 411, my essence, is that of the greatest heroes of our past–the ones who put it on the line for the common good, who weren’t afraid to have a voice, despite however “illicit” the cause might seem to some–like Franklin, Voltaire, and Shulgin.

While I possess neither the wit or intellect of any of those men, I do possess a similar spirit when it comes to fighting for and preserving our rights.  Dancesafe is a vital resource to the community, and the loss of any such resource would we be a clear danger to the scene.  With your help, Dancesafe isn’t going anywhere, and now Crack has been given an invite to the party.  To their credit, they have rolled out the red carpet for me so far as well, helping me along greatly and welcoming me to an enormous degree.

Look for our maiden voyage together very soon, as I have analyzed the latest’s lab results for Dancesafe, and it will go up early in the week.  First there, and then here.  But this collaboration is a monumentous one in that we are both totally comitted to stamping out bad pills, and speaking for myself, to put pressure on makers to come up with a better and more diverse product for us.

With the help of some friends, we’re going to shine the spotlight at the issues plaguing the scene.

Word, Solomon.

Be Smart,

Crackbillionair (,

Jets new left guard Vladimir Ducasse (above).

The Jets signed 2010 2nd round pick, # 61 overall, LG Vladimir Ducasse of UMass to a 4 yr, $ 3.25 M contract, which includes a $1,000,000 signing bonus.

Ducasse, at 6’5, 330 lbs., should be an asset to the Jets line if he can make the jump from Division IAA to the NFL.  Right now, it would appear that Matt Slauson, who played for Offensive Line Coach Bill Callahan at Nebraska and last year on the Jets, is the front runner to start at Left Guard.  But Ducasse, a tackle in college, could also be viewed by the Jets as a long term replacement for RT Damien Woody.

Ducasse played tackle in college.

For more on the Jets youth movement, follow the links below:

Ducasse becomes the first player selected in the 2nd round in 2010 to agree to terms with an NFL club.  The Jets also extended the contract of bookend Left Tackle, D’Brickashaw Ferguson yesterday.

–Crack (

Former 1st pick overall, QB Jamarcus Russell (above).

Jamarcus Russell, cut this spring by the Raiders after collecting approximately $ 36 M in guaranteed money, was arrested at his Alabama home today for possessing liquid codeine.  He made bail and was released after being booked.

Police in Mobile County, Alabama, alleged that Russell was in possession of codeine, a prescription painkiller. Sheriff’s spokesperson Lori Myles told the AP that Russell was arrested as part of an undercover investigation.

The arrest comes two months after the Raiders cut Russell, whom they had selected with the first overall selection in the 2007 draft.

Russell was released after posting $2,500 bail. He is due in court on July 20.

Undercover sting?  Seems odd, to say the least.  Really, it was the Raiders who got stung.  Thankfully, the Jets no longer have interest in Russell as a backup to Mark Sanchez, after hearing of today’s arrest.

JaMarcus Russell effectively eliminated himself from becoming a Jet any time this millennium with his latest bonehead move. The free agent quarterback was arrested at his Alabama home today for possession of a controlled substance during a police investigation.

The former Raiders signal caller was busted for codeine syrup, which can be mixed with soda to create “Purple Drank.” (Russell didn’t have a prescription for codeine).

The “Purple Drank”?  That’s a new one for us.  We’ll be sure to look into it for you.

The Jets who have been linked to veteran lefty Mark Brunell, are expected to sign the former Jacksonville star sometime this month.  Brunell told reporters last week that he intends to file for bankruptcy after personally guaranteeing a number of small business loans.

–Crack (