Beth O

Beth O. (above) as she accepts some bullshit award that we all know should have a name like “Wife of Legend” award.

On Tuesday night, Beth Ostrovsky, or Stern rather, graced the Bravo airwaves to do her ultra nice, painstakingly inoffensive North Shore Animal League shtick, no doubt because Andy is a huge Howard fan, among other reasons.  Most of which also relate to Howard.  We could see them all part of the same Hamptons circle, and Andy did Howard’s show recently, holding his own despite following an impossible act–Sacha Baron Cohen–appearing as himself.  Great stuff.

So we could picture WWHL wanting Howard and with no shot at landing him on the cable show, settling for Beth.  We are not Beth fans.  We have been hard on her in the past, most recently probably when she published her book about dogs which we said was probably stupid.  Beth has been real savvy when it comes to using Howard’s fame to get herself notoriety, entertainment reporter gigs, and nouveau socialite status.  Very savvy for a B model (do not dare call her a super model now) who has always seemed overly nice in an annoying way, but not really very interesting at all, nor particularly beautiful either for the reverential tones which people use to describe her, like she is some sort of Carmen Electra.

But we watched what happened live the other night and were rewarded with perhaps Beth O’s most interesting appearance ever, anywhere.  While her appearances on Sirius XM’s The Howard Stern Show are so pre-canned and innocuous  with Howard bending over backwards to protect her, and supremely boring for us, Andy Cohen got a gem out of her the other night, although it may have been a remark she’d like to have back.

Andy did a nice job, showing some old pics of Howard, leaving no doubt as to why he is so quick to call himself ugly.  Especially during the NBC years.  Horrifying.  Then he asked her how long they had been together.

“13 years.”

“13 years?”

“13 years.”

So that is Beth declaring that number 13 , not once but twice.  We thought it odd, being the huge fans of the show that we are and having some familiarity with the timeline of Howard’s personal life. And so we hopped right onto the net to check out where 13 years put Howard.

As we thought, Howard was still married to Alison in 1999, the year when Beth and Howard supposedly got together.  They were not divorced until 2001.  Now Howard and Alison were separated in 1999, according to reports.  But Howard often recounts this whirlwind fast lane bachelor period that occurred after he broke up with Alison, when he was “single.”

We would certainly love some clarification on these issues.  Howard, like our good friend Jeff Lewis, has a right to enjoy his personal life, and we are not trying to make him out to be an adulterer.  Moreso, we know there are times when Howard, who proclaims himself to be always truthful, does not tell the truth.  Is this a case of that?  If it isn’t, then Howard essentially met Beth and has been with her from the moment he separated with Alison, in which case, he didn’t have much time for the red hot bachelor period which he often boasts of.

As we’ve also iterated, we are not fans of Beth.  That’s our right.  She’s done absolutely nothing to win us over.  She’s not talented, not funny, not quick on her feet, and not nearly as beautiful as portrayed.  We’ve never liked hearing the stories of how pussy whipped Howard is at her hands.  So this would be an ironic twist to the Howard/Beth love story in the very least, and would provide us with a very concrete reason to justify our distaste for Beth.

Andy should have her back on so that she could clarify (i.e. change her story).  And good job on sneaking in a question from Marianne from Brooklyn.  While we sometimes cringe at how overly gay WWHL is, overall the show has provided some very high quality entertainment.

Crack (

Howard is having a great week.  His Sirius XM Howard Stern Show radio audience was treated to not one, but three guests from Jimmy Kimmel’s now infamous Hollywood house party, including Kimmel himself, who killed.  To recap Kimmel’s long in studio appearance, we’ll condense his remarks on the celebrity bash, by paraphrasing his most startling comments:

  • John Stamos and Mark McGrath were beefing at the party because Stamos challenged McGrath for not taking more of a leadership role in Kimmel’s band room, where Howard jammed with David Arquette, Ashton Kutcher, and Kimmel, who plays harmonica.
  • John Stamos is afraid of midgets and was uncomfortable when Kimmel sent the midget band “Minikiss” into his dressing room when a guest of Kimmel’s television show.

Read more about Stamos, who appeared via telephone on Howard’s show Thursday:

  • Johnny Knoxville showed up at the party with homemade moonshine in a mason jar, made by one of his cousins.  Many people sipped moonshine from the mason jar, including Beth O (good for you, Beth!)
  • Demi Moore and Courtney Cox were there with their husbands, and watched the above mentioned foursome play, which included Howard on guitar for a rendition of Louie Louie.
  • Rickles wasn’t the only comedian snubbed.  Howard 101 host but fine comedian Greg Fitzsimmons was invited to the party, though Howard did not take notice of him there.
  • Survivor host Jeff Probst was uncomfortable at the party because Howard was goofing on him.

Howard said of Probst that he went over to talk to the Survivor host and his new girlfriend, and began interrogating them about their relationship.  Howard asked the couple if they had said “I love you” yet to each other, and that they both became “beet red.”  Then Howard said, “would anyone like to say I love you now then?”  Probst told Howard that his girlfriend had 2 children to which Howard replied, “Woe…is that really cool?”

Probst, who rearranged his schedule to attend the bash, said he didn’t like the interrogation, and had postponed travel plans to make the party.  He had to fly to New York on a red eye on Saturday morning.

Kimmel also took flack for ranking Fred last in popularity among Stern show personalities, saying that Fred is given too much credit for his intelligence, and that people are afraid to challenge him even though sometimes he is wrong.  Jimmy also took issue with Robin, who said earlier in the week that Kimmel was close in age to the 60 year old Quivers.

“Robin, how old do you think I am?  I’m 42 years old!”  Kimmel said.

Christa Miller (above), and her husband, Scrubs and Cougar Town producer Bill Lawrence also attended Kimmel’s party.  Miller called in the Stern show this week as well.

–Crack (

It’s always interesting when John Stamos appears on Sirius XM’s Howard Stern Show, and today was no different.  Howard did a phone interview with Stamos, his long time friend, who was in California.  The topics?  Stamos love life, Howard’s recent trip to Los Angeles, and a controversial “Hollywood” party thrown for Howard by funnyman Jimmy Kimmel.

Howard took issue with Stamos’ actions regarding comedy legend Don Rickles, who despite thinking he was close to Kimmel, was not invited to the party in Howard’s honor.  Howard said that Stamos made Kimmel feel bad over the Rickles snub, and implied that Kimmel is now obsessing over it.  Stamos told Howard he wanted Kimmel to know that Rickles was going to ‘hammer him on the air’ for the snub, when Rickles appears on Kimmel’s show next week.  Howard also said that Rickles and Kimmel aren’t friends, but Stamos assured them they were good friends.  At that point, Robin broke in and said, “so does that mean Jimmy has to invite Rickles to everything?”

Stamos then said, “Robin, do you have to back up Howard on everything?”

Howard criticized Stamos’ party ettiquette, and repeatedly said that Stamos doesn’t like when small time celebrities or people “who aren’t good looking enough” are at parties, and said that Stamos was angry at Kimmel for inviting Survivor host Jeff Probst, who Howard announced that Stamos doesn’t like, and doesn’t consider a star.  Stamos backtracked laughing, and said that Probst was “my guy” and that the two work out together regularly.

The conversation then turned to Stamos’ girlfriend, who Howard described glowingly, and then battered Stamos in true Howard Stern fashion about the state of their relationship.  Howard asked, “are you guys exclusive?”‘ and Stamos replied with a non answer, saying that she was “the nicest, sweetest person in the world.” 

Howard responded, “I think you overdosed on pussy.  A regular guy would never let that girl out of his sight.  At what point do you settle down?”

Stamos said that he was almost 50 and wanted a family and kids, but that he needed to take some time off and “figure out what’s wrong with me.”  Howard then told a story about when he told Stamos he was seeing Beth, and Stamos supposedly replied, “you know she’s not the one, right?  She’s not gonna be the last one.”

Stamos: “I never said that (laughing).”

Robin, Fred and Gary all chimed in, telling Stamos that to be in love takes a little work, and Gary recalled a story about when John Stamos took him on a tour of the set of ER.  Gary said that on the tour, every woman Stamos introduced him to he classified by the way Stamos’ spoke of them.  “If John said she was nice, that meant he slept with her.  If he had some sort of problem with her, she wouldn’t sleep with him.”

Stamos cut off Gary by saying, “aren’t you staying at my house this weekend?”

Then Fred and Stamos argued about love and relationships, and Stamos told Fred to “shut up” and that Fred always hammers him, citing Fred’s opinion that Rebecca Romijn, Stamos’ ex, was not a super model.  Howard said that Fred was worried that Stamos might sleep with his daughter some day, and Fred said “absa-fucking-lutely not.  I’d break his knee caps.”

Stamos replied, “I’d like to see you try.”  Howard then mentioned that John Stamos was a black belt in martial arts.

Stamos is a wildly entertaining guest who has an excellent rapport with Howard.  His appearances on the show are a highlight.  In past interviews, Stamos revealed that he and Howard smoked weed together, and that when he was married to Rebecca, Howard, Beth, Rebecca, and himself had all stripped down to their underwear after a night out in Manhattan.

Once again, Howard treated the faithful to excellent radio.

–Crack (

Howard (above) at the mic.

This morning Howard Stern discussed his trip to Los Angeles on his Sirius XM radio program, calling Hollywood a “crazy town.”  He talked about going to dinner with good friend Jimmy Kimmel and his new girlfriend, Molly, and about tipping a pool attendant $20 just for giving him a towel at his hotel.  Kimmel and comedianne Sarah Silverman, one of our favorite funny ladies, were once a couple.

 On Friday night, the couples went out to dinner at a Hollywood hot spot, and were stalked by paparrazzi, who Howard said, he had trouble getting away from the entire weekend.  His solution?

“I stayed in my room 90% of the time and played chess on my computer.  It feels like I’m at home that way.”  No place like New York, I guess.  You hear that, Lebron?

Be leaving Cleveland,

Crack (

Sex and the City 2 poster featuring Sarah Jessica Parker (above).

Howard Stern said this week on Sirius XM’s Howard Stern Show, that he was excited to go to the Sex and the City 2 premiere, but that they denied him a third ticket for his daughter, so he decided to skip the event.

Howard lamented that he was a true fan of the show, a Sarah Jessica Parker fan, and that his daughter was excited, thinking that she was going.

Was the strict 2 ticket policy that applied to Howard the fault of the movie though?  In hearing Howard’s comments on the subject, a few questions came to mind.  Why couldn’t he take his daughter and not his new wife, the former Beth O.? 

Why couldn’t Beth, famous in her own right, albeit due to Howard, request tickets for herself?  Is she not famous enough, after all, in the wake of her recent book about dogs?

Why couldn’t Beth and Howard’s daughter go without the king of all media?  Do they not get along?  Or is Howard’s ego too big to go to something that’s not on his own terms?

Don’t worry, Howard.  I mean, you are obviously ridiculously pussy whipped and all, but we’re pretty sure you didn’t miss anything.  It’s just too bad your daughter did.

Be worried about your inheritances,

Crack (

Beth Stern (above).

Beth Stern has written a book about dogs.  What are her qualifications to write such a book, you ask?  Well, she’s not a vet, and she’s not a PhD candidate, or anything remotely close.  Is she a writer?  She is now.  What about a degree of any kind?  Doesn’t look like it.  So how is she qualified?  She’s a model, of course, and her husband is the King of All Media.  And she owns a bulldog.

Get the picture? 

Just like Billy Joel’s ex isn’t a chef, but she wrote a book on cooking.  What do the two friends have in common?  They each have a very famous spouse.  Here’s why Beth O. thinks she’s got dog shit covered.

“There is so much misinformation out there. Automatically people turn to the Internet for answers. I was doing that for years, but every time I inquired about something, I would get 10 different answers for the same question,” Stern said. “I have amazing, authentic experts in my life from my work with NSALA. They are educated, seasoned pros and the advice they give is extraordinary and plentiful.”

Wow.  Misinformation about dogs?  So Beth married fame, then spoke to experts about dogs, and then wrote a book?  Here’s a video of Beth telling Craig Kilborn about her feet and her ass.  Watch it, and then decide for yourselves about Beth’s dog shit.

As for me, I try not to read too many books about dogs, or books by people who didn’t go to college.  Just because I love Howard, doesn’t mean I have to buy this dog shit.

Crack (