Gisele Bundchen


Tom and Gisele (above).  Don’t worry, Boston fans, we hate it as much as you do or more when Brady wears his Yankees cap.

So on Sunday evening Gisele Bundchen ripped into the New England Patriot receivers, as portrayed in the video above.  So what?  Is she a bad person?  Who knows?  I mean, she did arguably break up Brady and Bridget Moynahan, when Moynahan was like 8 months pregnant and whatnot, and Moynahan was a tad pissed.  So much so, that she decided to name her impending arrival with the acronym Brady hates the most:  JET (John Edward Thomas).  And Moynahan barred Brady from the birthing room and hates his guts to this day and always has, blah blah blah.

I hate to say so, but he is Tom Brady, one of the best quarterbacks to ever live.  All the normal people rules we are encumbered with, and some morals perhaps, do not bog down a guy like Tom Terrific.  Nor Gisele Bundchen for that matter.  This is like a Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie deal.  The biggest NFL star decided to trade up to a hotter piece of ass.  Sure many a big name star, male, female, whatever, would never think to do such a thing.  Sure.  But they can.  If they opt to do so, it’s done.  Survival of the hottest, the fittest, the best looking, the tallest, the richest, and on and on and on.

We can’t kill her for that and we can’t kill Tom either.  Who knows?  Maybe Moynahan is so annoying that Tom was playing for the out all along.  Or maybe the Bundchen sex is just that good.  At least some good came of it all:  Brady’s kid is named Jet.  And that’s priceless.

It was beginning to look like for a long time that would be the greatest pleasure that Brady would allow the Brady haters.  Then Bernard Pollard put that hit on Tom’s knee, causing him to miss almost a full season, and we were giddy, thinking he might be done for.  But Tom is just that good.  Other guys might not have come back as strong, or at all, and here comes Brady back, setting records and making Super Bowls.

Thank the Lord almighty that he has been losing them.  Losing to the Giants 17-14 a few years back and devastating the perfect season was a bounty, for sure.  Oh, the press conferences!  Nothing at all quite like hearing Tom Brady whine.  Let me turn you on to this, please, if you are unaware.  When the Brady haters have the great fortune of the Patriots losing a game, as rare as that may be, they should go to the Patriots website and watch the Brady press conference, and for that matter, the Belichik one too.

Now that’s entertainment.  Seems like an oxymoron, Belichik and entertainment, but trust me nontheless.  It’s such a hot ticket must see that I still have my TV tuned in to NBC waiting for it to happen.  Perhaps Little Bill will see fit to throw us that bone yet.  But after the Patriots latest Super Bowl loss to the Giants, we made due with Brady’s words, and Bundchen’s, and we are grateful that they didn’t deny us.

And understand that Bundchen’s words really are Brady’s anyway, further reason not to jump on the Bundchen bash bandwagon.  This nonsense is all Brady.  Anyone who knows football knows that when a quarterback says ‘we just didn’t make enough plays’ what he really means is ‘I played fine.  THEY didn’t make enough plays.’  Say whatever you want about the guy, love him to death if you like, but understand that team players do not sell out their mates, and do not make thinly veiled criticisms like that.

Bundchen is going to say these things and you can’t really nag at her team spirit or anything, because it’s a stratified team, and the Patriots are really a one man gang.  Bundchen is watching the game in a sky box.  She doesn’t associate with the commoners.  It’s not like even Randy Moss calibre guys and their girls are socializing with Tom and Gisele, though we’d have given a few dollars to witness a dinner party with Brady, Bundchen, Moss, and that old gal of Randy’s from Ft. Lauderdale who claims he forced her to digitally stimulate his anus so hard that she broke her finger.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323230,00.html

Do you think Bundchen really uttered those words about her husband not being able to ‘throw and catch the ball’, as though they were her own?  Please.  These are probably the things that they talk about behind closed doors.  Tom says, ‘Yeah so I’m the best and all’ and then Gisele says, ‘You’re the best, baby.’  Then Tom says, ‘and by the way, if we lose, it’s because the team sucks.  Not because I suck.’

Wethinks that conversation was definitely had.  I mean, Gisele is sending out these emails for people to pray and shit…who does that?  She does it, because she is in the war room with him behind closed doors and he is not confident about the game, for obvious reasons, and she knows it.  So let’s all pray for Tom Brady, right?

You know what?  We’re gonna hold off on that.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

Have you been buying those long girlish locks that New England star Tom Brady has been sporting (below)?

You might not, but it appears that Brady himself might soon be making a purchase in that regard–at the insistence of the boss.  No, not Bill Belichik, who has run New England’s evil cheat ridden empire for the last 11 years.  We instead refer to Gisele Bundchen, Brady’s wife and primary play caller.

Reporters from the National Enquirer tracked Brady to the offices of Dr. Robert Leonard, a hair transplant specialist in Rhode Island who has worked on the noggins of several Boston Bruins.

The weekly says Brady went there on orders from the missus.

“Gisele wants to maintain that perfect-couple image – the handsome quarterback with a head full of hair and the stunning model with her own long flowing locks,” the Enquirer reported.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/11/30/2010-11-30_defense_patriots_quarterback_tom_brady_consults_hair_specialists_in_play_to_cove.html#ixzz16uKqds7l

The image obsessed Bundchen, who Brady dumped his 8 months pregnant girlfriend for, actress Briddget Moynahan, is obviously running a very tight ship.  It’s no wonder her former beau Leonardo DiCaprio kicked her to the curb.  But when Brady kicked Moynahan to the curb it created so much acrimony between the pair that the actress barred Brady from the delivery room, and named his son after the team he hates most–Jet (John Edward Thomas).

Whatever will be Monday night in the in-season Superbowl at Foxboro in which the Pats are a 3.5 pt. favorite over our beloved Jets, we can’t thank Gisele enough, and the National Enquirer, for the image in our head of Brady and Zdeno Chara sitting side by side and having their scalps lasered at some Rhode Island hair clinic.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/tom-brady-seriously-injures-passenger-in-early-morning-accident/

J-E-T-S!!!!!

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com, http://www.crackbillionair.com)