New York Yankees

We love Sarah Silverman (above between McCarver and Buck).  And we aren’t that big on baseball, or in game ads, or shameless network promotions, or when at baseball or football games, the star of some new FOX or CBS show will happen to be in the crowd and then happens to pop into the booth to tell us how great their new show is, though that show is bound to fail and be awful, just like every other “new” show in history.  So when Sarah Silverman got her chance as the celebrity Red Sox fan on Saturday–some new genius twist by FOX–to do commentary for an inning, because obviously, baseball, on its own merits in May, is short merits, she made them pay.  And we applaud her.

Conceived of the same logic that got us a neon enhanced puck or Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football, was FOX’s celebrity fan feature.  Silverman, a New Hampshire native, honored the segment by declaring that she didn’t care about the Red Sox, that she had some baseball facts that she could run with–but when asked to name one stayed silent (hilarious!), and then talked about Doc Ellis, who pitched a no hitter on LSD while both Tim McCarver and Joe Buck were yelling “NO NO NO!”

Here’s the epic Silverman inning:

Now really, how dumb is FOX?  If they know anything about Sarah Silverman at all, they have to know she has won a major coup by getting on national TV to talk baseball, or in other words, to perpetrate a massively major goof on the establishment.  Kudos.

And we miss her cookie parties!

Crack (,

Rising Knicks’ star Wilson Chandler (above).

We are not ashamed to say that we had the Knicks projected at 10-24 at this point, and that we had major problems with the construction of the roster.  The David Lee trade?  Awful.  To get back perpetual dog house resident Anthony Randolph as the centerpiece of a deal in which you trade a 20/10 guy, and to also recieve Kelenna Azabuike–yet to play and who may not recover from a serious knee injury in time to ever play for the team–is akin to letting Lee walk for nothing.  Well, at least we got back scary looking Ronny Turiaf, who has had a positive effect in his minutes, and who becomes a downright essential cog for the thin Knicks in the absence of Gallinari.

What about our good friends Roger Mason and Timofey Mozgov, 2 players the Knicks alotted cap space to, who, well, suck it hard?  Between Randolph, Azabuike, Mozgov, and Mason, the Knicks have tied up 1/3 of their roster with totally unusable players.  Not to mention Eddy Curry.

Shawne Williams?  We like him fine and think the former first rounder and journeyman deftly rescued himself from the scrap heap by shooting the lights out in limited action, and continued to shock us in a rousing win versus the Spurs by making plays with his back to the basket.  Very nice.  But let’s be real.  He wasn’t brought here to or expected to contribute. 

Are we upset that first Shannon Brown and then the absolutely awful Roger Mason were pretty much guaranteed starters’ minutes by D’antoni at the virtual expense of Wilson Chandler, who just kept his head down and played hard?  Yes.  In looking at this woeful roster, we clearly identified Chandler as 1 of the 4 guys with actual basketball talent on this team (along with Stoudemire, Felton, and Douglass).  Since then, we’ve upgraded our assessment.  This team has 5 players with basketball talent (all credit goes to the surprisingly gifted hard work guy from Stanford, Landry Fields, currently leading all guards in rebounding).  Chandler, the 2nd or 3rd best, has thoroughly impressed us and we’re not surprised at all.  Tuesday night, W.C. had 31 pts. on 13/19 from the field, 9 rebounds, and 4 assists, and was too much for Richard Jefferson to handle.  The fact is, on most nights and even against some very good teams, a few players can carry the multitude of bad ones.  The Knicks also channeled that Garden energy left up in the rafters from the previous night’s incredible St. John’s victory.

The NBA is a star driven league, and Amar’e is playing like an MVP calibre, 1st team All NBA guy.  Raymond Felton is playing the best ball of his career (17 pts, 7 assts per), and out-played Spurs star Tony Parker most recently (28/7 vs. 26/6) in the Knicks’ banner win at MSG.  Chandler, who proved early on he could not be driven from the lineup, has been so good that Donnie Wheelchair has now vowed to re-sign him, even with the player in line for perhaps a $ 60M contract.

The Knicks big 3 of Stoudemire, Chandler, and Felton is proving so good that they can carry the team, even against some top squads.  Even in the absence of Gallinari, who we think sucks anyway.  Face it.  How many teams have a triumvirate that it out producing the Knicks’ big 3?  As we see it, it’s something only elite teams can say.

We also see a silver lining with Gallinari’s injury.  While we are totally unimpressed with Italy’s finest, and while we especially pan his supposed strength–his perimeter game–he does seem to be developing a better repertoire as a guy who can put it on the floor and get to the rim.  For all his faults, he’s a young guy, at 6’10, playing major minutes on a winning team.  Denver, who seems intent on getting back 1-2 players and picks for Carmelo, might be willing to take Landry Fields, as well as the young talent and picks that a Gallinari and an Anthony Randolph could bring back, since we’re hearing the Nuggets aren’t big on either.  For now, we’ll kindly hold off on the bust tag for these guys.

As for the immediate future, Amar’e returns to Phoenix Friday night.  We look for our captain to be extra motivated against his old squad.


Crack (,

Celebrity Rehab’s Frankie (above).

We’re slightly less thrilled with the last 2 episodes of Celebrity Rehab than we were with the first few. Rachel Uchitel has not been sporting the short shorts, for one, and Eric Roberts seems to have abandoned his titty tanks.  Roberts though, has been a major emphasis of the show of late, and the drama surrounding the reunion with his step son Keaton, who was interestingly attired in a t-shirt emblazoned with the words “Legalize Gay.” 

Frankly, the focus on Roberts’ personal life is not nearlyas fun or entertaining as the engines that moved the show early on and are so satisfying to us.  Like Jason “Gummy Bear” Davis’s scorched earth policy of nervous breakdown inducing abuse.  In fact, we were very dissatisfied with 2 weeks ago’s cliffhanger ending and resolution or lack thereof, when 4 police officers filed into the recovery center looking for Jason Davis.  We’re still unsure what the cops wanted.  Could the incident be chalked up to some combination of poorly cut video/dead end publicity stunt?  That’s our opinion.  Davis has settled in a bit and calmed down, and though he offered us no highlight reel moments of late, we do agree with the great Howard Stern that Davis is entertainment gold.  In this space a few weeks back we called for Gummy Bear’s own reality show, and this week, Howard said in his return to the air that Davis has a knack for verbal abuse and cutting sarcasm, and is interested in giving him his own show on Sirius XM.  Still, Davis’s best moment of late was when Dr. Drew said that Gummy Bear has “the body of an 80 year old man.”

A placid Davis, a low key Uchitel, and a calmer but crimped out Janice Dickinson have given way to the family sagas of Eric Roberts, who we feel is far better on the attack than on the mend, and of Jeremy London, who we do not give a damn about.  London’s drama over a tabloid piece planted in the Enquirer by his burnt out and blown out silicon spectacle of a wife, now also at the Pasadena Recovery Center and who is spying on London through the bushes from a separate wing of the facility, is not at all compelling.  As London complains about how the incident has destroyed his “career”, only the following question and statement come to mind: what career, and get that fucking Yankees shirt off.

Leif Garrett and Frankie have lent spice to the show in the wake left by the absence of outrageousness from our favorites.  Garrett, a card carrying crackhead, had the group as well as counselor Bob in a tizzy when he got up from their table in a restaurant and announced he should like to have a beer.  It’s even more interesting when several people attempt to explain to the dense Garrett why recovering addicts can’t drink alcohol.  “But I’m not an alcoholic” he continues to repeat while a full air force fleet sails over his head.

Then Frankie and Shelly argue when Frankie refuses to do as the others had and won’t delete the drug contacts from her phone.  Frankie, another dense one, fails to see how not doing so will be harmful to her.  Shelly, clean 14.5 years, tries to explain it to her, to which Frankie declares that there’s really no difference between the 14 years Shelly has clean and the 18 days Frankie has clean.

The highlight of the episode had to be when Mike Starr and Tom Sizemore, Celebrity Rehab alumni and personal favorites who are now clean, talk to the current crop about how the program saved their lives.  We thought about how great it was to see them doing well, as we contemplated the fact that this Celebrity Rehab season is winding down.  We hope Dr. Drew can recruit Uchitel, Gummy Bear, Janice Dickinson, and Frankie for Soberhouse.

Crack (,

Yanks GM Brian Cashman (above) as he hangs off the side of a Connecticut building.

A few weeks back, much was made of a charity event or a Christmas event in Stamford, Conn. at which a Spiderman like Brian Cashma–yes, that Brian Cashman–rappeled down the side of a skyskraper, albeit a Connecticut one.  On the matter Cashman would say he saw it done last year, and thought, “Why I can’t I do that?”

We thought, well, you can’t do that because you are the GM of the New York Yankees, one of the most important jobs in sport.  Frankly, we also thought, “What the fuck is this guy thinking?”  As evidenced by the folly he made of the free agent pursuit of Cliff Lee, and the no plan B plan, we conclude if he does any thinking at all, it’s not much.  In analyzing Cliff Lee’s FA priorities, did no one in the Yankee front office unearth that Lee owned a home in South Jersey near Philadelphia and that Philadelphia had the nation’s best medical facility for his son with special needs?  Or more simply, that Lee also played for the Philies, enjoyed playing there, and went to the World Series for them as well?

Or what about the most basic principle when it comes to New York teams making free agent offers, any sport?  That agents use the NY offer to drive up the price on the team they really want to go to.  Could Cashman, at this for a while now, have perhaps realized that Lee was shopping the Yanks’ offer? 

He should have.  He should have also understood that negotiations are complex and their nature is always subject to change, at any moment.  Carl Crawford was an Angel after all, and then all of a sudden, a Red Sock.  But Cashman wasn’t surprised that Crawford went to Boston.  He is expecting us to believe a lot of tales this winter, and the dull NY media keeps allowing him to spin them without calling him on them.  Cashman was wining and dining Crawford the very evening he signed with Boston, but we are supposed to think that was just a nice, healthy meal between consenting adults–a dinner date between Spiderman and a player the Yankees had no interest in.

When Cashman presented his 7 year offer to Lee, the press here exalted the Yankees and declared the matter settled.  Lee was on his way.  Mike Francesa, Yankees “expert”, declared that no one passes on this type of deal.  It was the second time, by the way, that Francesa has been dead wrong–dreadfully wrong–on a major Yankees’ issue this winter.  Mike had declared since before the 2009 World Series that the Jeter negotiations would never become contentious, that the Yankees would never embarrass Jeter would definitely show the captain love.  Mike also said that ‘no plan B indicates that plan A will work’ with regard to the Lee situation.

The 7 year offer, the Yankee braintrust presented to Lee, the Yankees declared was final.  No way on Earth were the Yankees budging off of an already ‘outrageous’ 7 year guarantee.  Well, they didn’t budge the offer, literally, leaving it on the table for Lee’s very smart team to have their way with, and to use as the framework to extract a better deal from both Texas and Philadelphia, for over two weeks.  Like Jeter had an unofficial deadline by which to come to terms so the Yankees could conduct other business, Lee should have had a deadline.  At the time the offer was made, it was the most substantial offer.  By the time Lee had a fortknight with it, Texas and Phily had made substantially better offers.  So Jeter, the Yankees’ own, gets treated badly, and Lee, who the Yankees wanted very badly, obviously, they didn’t know how to treat.  And don’t kid yourselves like they didn’t want him badly.  When you decide to give a guy $ 153 M, you want him badly.  That is elementary.

Then the New York media begins to spin this yarn that Lee is the 1 guy to spurn the Yanks dollars.  Larger than life Cliff Lee, the big time pitcher who just follwed his heart.  Then ESPN super scoops the New York media with news that Philadelphia’s offer trounced the Yankees’ in terms of average salary and included an easily vesting 6th year option if the player pitches 200 innings in year 5 or 400 combined innings in years 4 and 5 at $ 27.5 M.  So Lee is basically grabbing $ 147.5 M for 6 in Philadelphia–a better deal.  Then Cashman goes into hiding for a few days, slinks out of his hole, spins us one about the Yanks not needing Lee, and how plan B is patience, i.e. inaction.  A team imposed deadline on a Lee deal may not have gotten the ace in pinstripes, but it gives his people less time to get a dream contract from Philadelphia and allows the Yankees to move on the few other ooportunities thay were out there.

Russell Martin, knee jerk signing anyone?  Cashman would have us believe that Martin was part of a master plan.  A month ago, Cash was telling us young stud Jesus Montero was going to be the catcher.  Now we’re looking at pedestrian Russell Martin, who has no upside whatsoever.  Why?  Because Montero will be trade in whatever the next knee jerk move the Yankees make–the finest hitting prospect at catcher in baseball–in a trade no doubt to qualify as rape and pillage.  People are actually looking forward to seeing Montero come along, the way they were with say, Robinson Cano. 

Now Cashman got around last week to telling us that losing the Lee sweepstakes really does hurt.  Oh great wise one, speaker of truths!  In our opinion, the GM of the Yankees needs to be on the ball, not sliding down the side of a wall.  Cashman is telling us how fine we are with AJ Burnett, who we spent $ 82.5 M on, and who we absolutely not could give away.  Cashman, with the luxury of the Yankees deep pockets at his disposal, is the only GM in sport who can make 82.5 $ M mistakes.  Who can trade Jose Contreras for Esteban Loiza, watch Contreras go forth and conquer, and wipe it all away with a stroke of the Yankees’ money pen. 

There is a legion of examples as to Cashman’s bungled trades and signings, as evidenced by their inability to pursue the only other available FA pitcher of note, Carl Pavano, who stole $ 57 M from Cashman previously.  Instead of scaling buildings and writing wild checks, how could he ever manage an $80-$100 M payroll?  Frankly, we wouldn’t care if this guy, as well as all the Yankees beat writers and media mouthpieces, strapped themselves to a building in Connecticut and then took an unexpected plunge.

Like Tom Coughlin, they should all sit in a dark room and stare into space in solemn contemplation.  And they can take their time about coming out.  Because if the best idea I could come up with was to dress up like an elf and shimmy down the side of a 22 story building, and I ran the New York Yankees, I would hope that someone would have the decency for me or the Yankees to get me the fuck out of here on a rail.  Did you see this fucking video?  Why have only 246 people watched it?

Happy New Year.

Crackbillionair (,

Jets’ star wide receiver Braylon Edwards (above), who caught a 67 yard touchdown last night which led to a 31-23 Jets victory against hated rival Miami.  But according to the commentators, from know-it-all windbag Mike Francesa to know-it-all windbags Tony Kornheiser and Chris Collinsworth, Edwards should never have played for the Jets last night, because at this stage of the game, they believe it falls upon the Jets shoulders to right all the wrongs in the world, and to bench players who they have brought here to help them win games–like last night’s.

This guy should not play this week.  Case closed.

–Mike Francesa, WFAN


Admittedly, I’m on the outs with the Jets.

–Mike Francesa, WFAN


If it was my team, I’d deactivate him.

–Chris Collinsworth, NBC Sports

A week after Edwards’ DWI, the pundits have no clearer understanding of one’s basic right to due process, and to the concept of innocent until proven guilty.  Francessa, Mr. Genius himself, spoke all week about Edwards and how the Jets needed to take a stand.  He also talked all week about how the Ravens were going to cover the spread against the Browns.  They did not.  He also comes off his dubious prediction that the Colts would “blow out” New Orleans in the Superbowl. 

But Francesa, who hates the Jets, can’t really be expected to think any differently.  He alienated himself with the team so badly that no Jets’ players or upper management figures will come on the air with him.  And last week, when Jets’ fans called in to voice their support for Edwards being in the lineup last night, Francesa blew up.  One caller asked Francesa if Shaun Ellis played for Mangini–the ultra moral head coach–the week he got arrested for possession of cannabis.  The fat man said “I don’t remember” and hung up.

How professional is it to be a big time sports personality in New York who can’t get along with a team in New York, whom that personality depends on for interviews?  And what about Francesa’s good buddy Bill Parcells?  Yeah, they’re also on the outs, and no longer speak.  Maybe it’s because Mike speaks so poorly, from such an uninformed bully pulpit.  Maybe that’s why the much smaller ticket duo of Benigno and Roberts had Jerrico Cotchery on with them after Edwards’ arrest which followed a night at a Cotchery charity event in Manhattan, while Francesa could only score beat writers to talk Jets on his nationally syndicated radio and television show.

The closest Francesa got to interviewing a Jet last week was when he had on Dolphins’ head coach Tony Sparano–the coach of the Jet’s opponent last night.  While 1050 ESPN radio pulled a number of high profile Jets’ related interviews, Francesa was kissing Bucs’ coach Rahim Morris’ ass.

So we pulled for you a post from WhiteShoeWillie of that clearly shows that no players arrested for similar infractions were suspended by their teams in recent memory.  Have a look:

 09-23-2010, 10:27 PM

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Beavis Island
Posts: 15,675
vCash: 3500

Default For those of you who think Braylon should be Benched/Suspended/Cut by Jets …

This is the list of all NFL players who were arrested for DUI related offenses since 01/01/09. Please point out the player who was punished with loss of playing time by their own team because of a DUI/DWI without killing someone. Thank you.
9/21/2010	Braylon Edwards 	N.Y. Jets	WR	Arrested on suspicion of drunken driving around 5:15 a.m. in New York. Blood-alcohol content reportedly 0.16.
9/3/2010	Fili Moala 		Indianapolis	DT	Arrested, charged with drunken driving, speeding, after being stopped at 2:30 a.m. Blood-alcohol content measured 0.15.
8/8/2010	Gerard Lawson 		Cleveland	DB	Arrested, charged with DUI after hitting parked car. Sheriff deputies said he left scene of accident.	Pleaded no contest in plea deal. Received punishment of 20 hours of community service, one year probation, 72 hours of "alternative to jail program," six months suspended license.
7/3/2010	Quinton Ganther 	Seattle		RB	Arrested on suspicion of DUI in Sacramento.
7/1/2010	Chris Simms 		Tennessee	QB	Arrested, charged with driving while intoxicated with marijuana in New York.
6/13/2010	Ray McDonald 		San Francisco	DL	Arrested on suspicion of DUI in San Mateo County. He reportedly was driving 94 mph in 65-mph zone.
3/27/2010	Joey Porter 		Arizona		LB	Arrested on suspicion of DUI in Bakersfield. Also accused of assaulting police officer and resisting arrest.	Dropped for lack of evidence.
3/19/2010	Ronnie Brown 		Miami		RB	Arrested on suspicion of DUI near Atlanta after being pulled over for changing lanes without signaling. Blood-alcohol content of .158.
3/13/2010	Spencer Havner 		Green Bay	TE	Arrested in California on suspicion of DUI after motorcycle accident around 2:45 a.m.
2/20/2010	Will Allen 		Miami		CB	Arrested, charged with DUI about 3:30 a.m. in Miami Beach. Breath tests showed blood-alcohol content at .152 and .167.
2/19/2010	Byron Westbrook 	Washington	CB	Arrested on suspicion of DUI just before 2 a.m. in Maryland.	Acquitted.
1/29/2010	Rey Maualuga 		Cincinnati	LB	Arrested on DUI charge in Kentucky after hitting a parking meter and two parked cars with his 2003 Pontiac.	Pleaded guilty, blood-alcohol-content of .157, suspended sentence of seven days in jail, $350 in fines, two years probation, fined two game checks by NFL.
1/1/2010	Taj Smith 		Indianapolis	WR	Arrested on suspicion of DUI after being pulled over at 3:24 a.m.
12/29/2009	Bobby McCray 		New Orleans	DE	Arrested on DUI charge, speeding, no registration, at 4:30 a.m.
11/16/2009	Eric Weems 		Atlanta		WR	Arrested, charged with DUI in DeKalb County, Georgia.
10/27/2009	Marcus Johnson 		Tampa Bay	OL	Arrested on suspicion of DUI. Police found him asleep in 2010 Chevy Impala about 4 a.m.	Team cut him same day.
8/30/2009	Cedric Griffin 		Minnesota	CB	Arrested, charged with DUI.	Pleaded guilty, paid $300 fine, two days of community service.
8/21/2009	Chris Davis 		Tennessee	WR	Arrested, charged with DUI in Nashville after 2 a.m. traffic stop.
6/20/2009	Owen Schmitt 		Seattle		FB	Arrested for investigation of drunken driving near Seattle.	Pleaded guilty to reckless driving, 24 hours of community service and payment of $2,130.
4/5/2009	Leon Hall 		Cincinnati	CB	Charged with DUI after being pulled over at 3:11 a.m. Blood-alcohol level of 0.149, according to breath test.	Pleaded guilty to misdemeanor reckless driving, sentenced to 64 hours community service, three days in a residential driver intervention program, $250 fine.
4/1/2009	Donte Stallworth	Cleveland	WR	Charged with DUI manslaughter for March 14 incident in which he struck and killed a pedestrian in Miami. Blood-alcohol level was .126.	Pleaded guilty, 30 days in jail, lifetime driver's license suspension,1,000 hours of community service. NFL suspended him indefinitely.
3/13/2009	David Macklin 		Kansas City	CB	Arrested on drunken-driving charge in Newport News, Va.
2/27/2009	Reggie Williams 	Jacksonville	WR	Arrested during traffic stop in Houston, charged with drunken driving and marijuana possession.	Dropped. Blood-alcohol content was .05, below the legal limit.
2/1/2009	Jamal Williams 		Chargers	DT	Arrested on suspicion of DUI after being pulled over for speeding in Bentley.	Reduced to reckless driving charge after blood-alcohol content was 0.07.
1/6/2009	Vincent Jackson 	Chargers	WR	Arrested on suspicion of DUI around 2:30 a.m. in 2008 GMC Sierra.	Four days in work-release program, five years probation, $2,408 fine, 15 days community service.

Mike says the Giants would never have played Edwards.  Well Mike, Antrell Rolle of the Giants recently blasted their head coach, lack of cohesiveness, and approach to games, after the Giants ponied up $ 37.5 M to obtain his services.  And he played yesterday–in a 29-10 blowout loss at home.  But then again, Mike is a Giants’ fan, and a Jet hater.

Is Edwards a dick, Mike?  You bet he is.  Is he a danger to society.  Most obviously.  But the Jets didn’t make him that way and there’s nothing they can do to change these facts.  Edwards has been a privileged, pampered athlete since he was in junior high school.  How has he gotten away with it, you ask?  Because he scores touchdowns.  Thank God the Jets were smart enough to know they have no control over Edwards, and didn’t concede to ill-informed public pressure and sit the guy at the expense of their team and their fans.  When the league doles out it’s laughable punishment, after the case is adjudicated, we’ll be happy to abide by it.

The result in the meantime?  Jets win.

When fat Mike owns his own team, we’ll see how hard he’ll be when it comes to sitting a player at the expense of a win, in a 16 game regular season.  I mean, did Francesa kill Pettite or A-Rod or any of the other Yanks on steroids?  Of course he didn’t.  But Mike wears quadruple XL Yankees pajamas to bed.

Actually Mike, the case is not closed.  It’s in fact, very open.  And BTW Mike, it’s Tony Sparano (Spuh-RANO) not Tony Soprano.  What a moron!   Our sincere thanks to WSW of  And for anyone wondering, Shaun Ellis played, like Edwards, and the rest of that list above, despite their arrests.


Crack (,

Marc Staal (above).

The New York Rangers made the most significant move of their off-season recently, announcing that a long rumored deal with the club’s top defenseman, Marc Staal, had been agreed to by both sides.  The 23 year-old defenseman who anchored the unit last year, averaging 23 minutes of ice per game, will receive $ 19.875 M over 5 years, under the terms of the existing collective bargaining agreement.

The deal should be viewed as a win for the Rangers, not only because they were able to get cost certainty with regard to one of their best young players, but also because the deal takes Staal one year past his earliest eligibility to become an unrestricted free agent.  The Rangers effectively bought Staal out of one year of free agency–a major coup in today’s NHL landscape, at a very affordable cap charge of approximately $ 3.9 M per year.

Rangers’ fans griped at the NHL draft when President and General Manager Glen Sather termed the negotiating gap between Staal and the team as a “chasm.”  Especially after last year’s acrimonious holdout between Brandon Dubinsky and the Rangers which caused the young forward to miss 8 days of training camp. 

Here are Staal’s career stats:

 Recent Career
 Year Team GP G A Pts +/- PIM Hits BkS PPG PPA SHG SHA GW SOG Pct  
 2007-08 NYR 80 2 8 10 2 42 N/A N/A 0 0 0 1 0 78 .026  
 2008-09 NYR 82 3 12 15 -7 64 N/A N/A 0 1 0 1 1 96 .031  
 2009-10 NYR 82 8 19 27 11 44 178 97 0 0 0 0 2 78 .103  
 Career Totals (Full) 244 13 39 52 6 150 178 97 0 1 0 2 3 252 .052

Staal, who at times has been disappointing, for the most part has impressed.  It must be kept in mind that he is a young player who broke into the NHL at the age of 19.  Usually the Rangers display a talent for ruining their young guys, but Staal, who has strong NHL bloodlines (brothers Eric and Jordan have already won Stanley Cups), is probably the most sound first round pick the Rangers have made since Sather left Edmonton to preside over the Rangers.  Though the selection of Staal was bittersweet for the Rangers, who lost valuable draft positioning and a spot in the NHL’s lottery because of a lockout which cost them a crack at megastars Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby.  Despite New York being one of the worst teams in the league prior to the lockout, since the lockout was so protracted, the draft was not conducted in reverse order of record, as it should have been, and instead, the draft order was selected randomly.  The Rangers were awarded the 15th pick overall, and then traded up 3 spots to select the 6’4 defenseman.

Staal has only missed two games in his NHL career, and has participated in every game over the last two seasons.  The signing puts the Rangers about $ 4 M over the NHL’s salary cap, but the Rangers are expected to clear $ 6.5 M in cap space when the players report to camp.  At that time, total bust Wade Redden is eligible to be waived–a move greatly anticapted by Rangers’ fans everywhere who are completely disgusted with the veteran Redden’s disinterested play, as well as the 6 yr/$ 39 M contract Redden signed in July of 2008.

The Rangers finished one point out of the playoffs last year, and watched the 8th seed Philadelphia Flyers advance to the Stanley Cup finals.

–Crack (,

Fake Pink New York Yankees (above).

Do not confuse the above Pink Yankees which turned up in New Hampshire with the giant, nearly 500 mgs MDMA bombs that pop in the new York area from time to time.

Notice the picture at the link above, and how real Pink Yankees are impressed.  The glossy pills above have a real inauthentic look to them, along with their bunk test results.  Here’s zemuffs’ valuable test report:

New York Yankees (Outpress)  
Date Submitted: September 13, 2010, 10:16 pm GMT
Submitted By: zemuffs
Name: New York Yankees (Outpress)
State/Province: New Hampshire
Logo: NY Yankees Logo
Colour: Very light pink, almost white
Shape: cylindrical
Edges: Smooth, very clean cut pill
Report Quality Rating: (5 stars, 2 votes)
Description: These pills were not consumed, only tested.These are a really clean press, not domed and rather smooth. They are not chalky but rather a solid pill that does not break easily. They almost look brand new.

Started with the Mecke, didn’t really change color much but it did have a gray tint to it. Moved on to the Marquis, it turned orange rather quickly, but not a bright orange. Followed it up with Simons and it turned cobalt blue.

The results of the test lead me to believe they contain meth, but if you look at the picture the color changes were very dull so it is possible they may contain something else. Either way, definitely not MDxx.

Suspected Contents: Other – please see report
Rating: Tested Only
Warning: yes
Tested: yes
Marquis Reagent: Orange
Mecke Reagent: Other – Pls see description
Simons Reagent: Blue
Consumed: no

Thanks, zemuffs.  Orange on the Marquis means speed to us too.  Plus, they look kind of waxy to us, like a lot of piperazines too.  Sorry you caught a bad pill.

Be Smart,

Crack (,

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