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After the Ravens’ 28-13 win, Suggs absolutely unloaded on New England, telling Yahoo! Sports, “Tell them to have fun at the Pro Bowl. Arrogant f—-ers.”

He then directed his ire toward Bill Belichick, even bringing up the Pats’ championship dry spell since SpyGate.

“These are the most arrogant p—– in the world starting with (coach Bill) Belichick on down. … ever since SpyGate they haven’t been able to win.”’

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/suggs-ravens-lb-curses-patriots-article-1.1243825#ixzz2Id9FZMfZ

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2013/01/12/new-york-jets-too-bad-total-redux-not-afoot/

http://www.patriots.com/media-center/videos/Belichick-121-Missed-opportunities-story-of-game/4f6a9e7d-2bb0-4ff2-ba71-0cd9c519d25a

Buh buh blam blam!!!!  Word!!  Funny, real, and true.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

Jets Stadium TourWoody Johnson (above), who should make that helmet a permanent component of his wardrobe.

There is no dysfunction quite like that Jet dysfunction.  There are no shit rosters quite like Jet shit rosters (anyone besides myself recall a wide receiver tandem of the little engine that could, Wayne Chrebet, and Arena football player Kevin Swayne?).  There are no blown second rounders like Jet blown second rounders (Browning Nagle, Mike Nugent, Vlad Ducasse, etc.).  Don’t even talk about the 1st round, where the Jets passed on Warren Sapp and once drafted Bryan Thomas over sure Hall of Famer Ed Reed.  But understand this: former owner Leon Hess, while not a football man, was an excellent businessman, was kind and benevolent, and oversaw the drafting of the team’s only franchise quarterback, Joe Namath, in its now 50+ year history, and subsequently, the Jets only Superbowl victory, the historic first ever Superbowl win for the American Football League, which helped force the merger that led to the formation of the NFL.

Did he make mistakes?  Too many to count.  Rich Kotite, anyone?  But Hess also hired Big Bill who led the organization to its most successful decade, sans the Superbowl, in its history.  Mr. Hess, which we call him out of respect, an earned title, was a self made man with courage and character, who, to carve out an empire in oil, had to negotiate with a gun barrel to his nose, and who cared so much for his employees that when Dennis Byrd was paralyzed during play, Hess paid out the rest of Byrd’s contract in full, immediately, and took an enormous personal interest in Byrd’s recovery.  Mr. Hess ensured Byrd would receive the very best medical care, essentially bequeathed him his personal aircraft, and sat with Byrd in the hospital every day for a year.

Once when asked of it, a candid Hess told a reporter that if he knew that a player could get injured so seriously in football, he “would have never bought the team.”  Upon Byrd’s recovery, at the press conference when he was released from the hospital, the former player uttered that most famous line, probably the most pride inspiring line associated with the Jets in all history, when he said, “I came to New York from Oklahoma a young Christian man.  Today I return to Oklahoma a young Christian man and a New York Jet.”

The current owner, Woody Johnson, who gets no respectful moniker from us, should not be viewed by anyone, most especially himself, through the illusory prism that wealth and power equate to success.  Johnson & Johnson had made billions long before Woody came to be.  Unlike Mr. Hess, Woody inherited his billions, gained his various titles through nepotism, and whatever honors bestowed upon him through cronyism, the spoils of privilege.  He’s not much of a business man, so far as we can tell.  Let’s be frank.  Billions beget billions.  He’s not much of a family man either, so far as we can tell.  Johnson, when divorcing ex Sale Johnson, soon after purchasing the team, told reporters of the break up that he was looking forward to ‘spending more time with his team.’  It hasn’t worked out for the Johnson family or the team.

As you may or may not know, Woody’s eldest daughter, Casey Johnson, who once famously became embroiled in a public dispute with her own aunt over a paramour, died alone due to questionable circumstances at the age of 30.  She had been described in the press as a “reckless wildchild”, a “wayward heiress”, etc.  Tragedy strikes and is blind to bank accounts.  Do we feel bad about raising a spectre of questionability around Johnson’s personal life?  No.  And for that matter, the spectre was there long before we raised it.  He’s a public figure and is therefore subject to it, as was Joe Philbin, when his low life, rapist son drowned to death and Tony Dungy, whose son committed suicide, and we haven’t blinked once in criticizing those men, whether they were just absentee football lifer fathers, hypocrites (like Dungy, who perhaps was too wrapped up in Jesus and the scourge that is foul language to worry about his own son), or both.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/02/04/casey-johnson-death-diabetic-cause-of-death-coroner/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/01/13/philbin-tragedy-ends-horror-show/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/dungy-keeps-bashing-jets-but-will-that-bring-his-son-back-to-life/

Is it overly simplistic to blame an absentee, disinterested parent for his child’s lack of mental well being?  Is it?  You tell us.  In this case, we have discerned with Woody a pattern of failure, from his ownership of the team, to his marriage, to his family, and of course, his politics.  Woody, a staunch Republican, was heavily invested in both recent Bush campaigns, and also served as Mitt Romney’s New York campaign manager.  Do we have to ask how that went?  For all his billions, Johnson is a dimwitted loser.  Anyone with even remedial knowledge of politics knew that Romeny’s chances at claiming NY’s slice of the electoral pie were dead even before arrival.  On that bus, there are still plenty of great seats available.  What about the doomsday quotes from Woody about how he feared for America if Obama was re-elected?

“Well I think you always have to put country first,” Johnson said. “So I think it’s very, very important that for – not only us – but in particular for our kids and grandkids that this election come off with Mitt Romney and (Paul) Ryan as President and vice president.”

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/jets/pinch-woody-picks-mitt-jets-article-1.1172131#ixzz2HjECuhop

You know, America seems perfectly fine to me under Obama.  I haven’t really noticed the pervasive spread of socialism and am rather glad that the war mongering ways of Bush’s patrician fantasy world are for now past.  But I am not a billionaire being taxed at a rate I deem too high.  I’m just a Crackbillionair is all.  And if Woody was such a patriot, pardon the pun, why try to cheat his beloved US Gov’t out of a cool $100M in taxes?  That’s what he agreed to pay back the gov’t, plus interest, in 2001, but in actuality, law enforcement believes it to be a great deal more.

So many superrich Americans evade taxes using offshore accounts that law enforcement cannot control the growing misconduct, according to a Senate report that provides the most detailed look ever at high-level tax schemes.

Among the billionaires cited in the report are the owner of the New York Jets football team, Robert Wood Johnson IV; the producer of the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” children’s show, Haim Saban; and two Texas businessmen, Charles and Sam Wyly, who the Center for Public Integrity found in 2000 were the ninth-largest contributors to President Bush.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/01/business/01tax.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

When Woody bought the team, he had supposedly done so to impress his billionaire buddies.  He was gonna win the big game and then flash the big bling at Tavern on the Green.  How’s that working out so far?  You think his buddies are are impressed?  Do you think they were impressed when Mark Sanchez was found to be entertaining an underage girl at his home?  Or when Rex’s wife’s swinger profile hit on http://www.deadspin.com?

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/rex-ryans-wife-in-foot-fetish-videos/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/michelle-ryan-a-k-a-ihaveprettyfeets-swinger-profile/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/did-mark-sanchez-have-inappropriate-relationship-with-17-year-old-new-jersey-girl/

Woody was also gonna build that Jets’ mecca on the Westside, which, we’ll acknowledge would have elevated the Jets’ status from 2nd to 1st class citizens, which would’ve rebranded the team and provided Dallas Cowboy like revenue streams.  See, we think Woody cares way more about money than football and that the Jets’ Westside development project was what was really attractive to him, and not so much the Jets, despite the man’s obvious love of green Oxford ties.  We suspect little Bill knew as much, and is why he hastily tendered his resignation, scrawled on a napkin when Johnson took over (“I resign as HC of the NYJ”).

woodyweb2s-2-web

While no one doubts that Woody put a lot of energy into the Westside project at considerable costs, should we commend a man for spending $1B on a failure?  Instead, we’ll add it to the ever expanding list of Johnson failures–a failure from which the franchise has never recovered that has conscripted the team to permanent second class status by settling for another joint stadium.  Johnson blew that billion and has been penny wise and dollar foolish ever since.  Especially, his practice of forcing unwanted players and coaches on the organization.  Brett Favre, forced on Mangini, for the promotional value.  Disaster.  Mangini holdover Brian Schottenheimer, who when he was considered a hot coaching commodity, was given a big new contract by the Jets, forced on Rex Ryan.  Disaster.  Made Schottenheimer a media scapegoat and ruined his reputation.  Tebow, forced on Ryan.  Disaster.  Not our words either, or rather, ours and Special Teams Coordinator Mike Westhoff’s, who went on talk radio in Miami today to call the Tebow situation, among other things, “an absolute mess” and a “distraction” and said he doesn’t understand the rationale behind the acquisition and that he doesn’t think anyone does.

alg-woody-favre-jpgWoody Johnson with old man toy Brett Favre (above).

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/favre-perversions-exposed-in-detail-audio-and-penis-pics/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/favre-also-hit-on-jets-team-masseuse-her-husband-calls-favre-fucking-scumbag/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/favres-wife-ill-bang-the-bible/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/26/favre-admitted-sterger-voicemails-to-nfl/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/favres-sis-in-mississippi-meth-lab-bust/

http://espn.go.com/blog/afceast/post/_/id/53942/mike-westhoff-tebow-situation-a-mess

We though the new personnel guy was gonna be Tom Gamble for a minute, or Dave Caldwell.  Hoped it would be Giants’ executive Marc Ross, all guys the Jets have courted.  and by the Jets, we of course mean the outside consulting firm the Jets have hired to run their GM search, because despite Johnson owning his own near billion dollar football organization, he has not one reasonably knowledgeable football man trustworthy enough to make a solid hire.

Originally, the Jets hoped to have a hire in place by the time Rex and ihaveprettyfeet returned from their Bahamas jaunt, someone to begin to spin the stench off the joke, the perennial catastrophe that is the Jets, and to divert attention away from the fact that the Jets organization was so unprepared to face the media that they ignored their compulsory obligation to make the coach and owner available to the press within 7 days of their season’s end.

So last week it was the Caldwells and Gambles, and then this week they have supposedly interviewed six people in the last 2 days alone.  Including the Dolphins Assistant GM, who we’re certain is underqualified.  But a qualified GM would never accept preconditions on the job, such as the shot gun marriage with Rex which Johnson is forcing whomever the new fool to accept.

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/jets/2013/01/jets-expand-gm-search-will-interview-steelers-executive-omar-khan-and-dolphins-assistan

The expanded search, which now includes way more interviewees than what is a normal when replacing a GM for other teams, is representative of the fact that the Jets are grossly incompetent, clueless, and fucked.  I mean, who but the Jets, would have a hiring search that included Tom Heckert, the GM of a club that lost 40+ games in 3 years in Cleveland, or even worse, personnel people from the Montreal Alouettes of the CFL?  Now I don’t like Wes Welker at all, but when he said that shit about the Patriots “putting their best foot forward” against the Jets, ‘toe the line’ or whatever, we can’t blame him.  The Jets are a joke, continually perpetuated by their own organization, so how can anyone be angry when people joke about them?  In fact, we are pretty sure that the only reason that Belichik came down so hard on Welker was because he feared not doing so would provide the Jets extra motivation.  In short, he fined Welker in order to have a better shot at success in a football game.

The original title for this piece was to be, “NYJ: Woody Johnson, Billionaire Moron, Despicable Human Being, and Gross Incompetent, Should Sell the NYJ”.  But since all of that is dreadfully obvious, truths we hold self evident, we instead opted for a Welkerism.

Same old Jets?  We wish we could somehow return to such a comfortable level of incompetence, one we had come to accept.  Instead, we are mired in incompetence that we can only describe as mind boggling, prolific, and sublime.  After Dennis Byrd returned to Oklahoma, the Jets, as a kindness to their fans, should have disbanded, letting us all root for the Giants.

In loving memory of Dr. Jet.  Now if he would only stop haunting my house.

Crackbillionair (http://crackbilionair.wordpress.com)

It’s obvious to us why Rafi (Jason Mantzoukas, above), or in The League’s show lore terms, El Cunado, was excluded from brother-in-law Ruxin’s anniversary party.  While it was still a classic episode, thanks especially to Taco (John Lajoie), and his hilarious Ruxin wedding video montage (“Love is…), we were miffed nontheless. We get that the show is resolved to bring Rafi to viewers in small doses, but largely we find The League’s funniest episodes to include the infamous El-Cunado.  Aside from last season’s Thanksgiving episode, a comedic bounty which guest starred Sarah Silverman as Andre’s slutty sister and Jeff Goldblum as the senior Ruxin, the funniest episodes were ones in which Jason Mantzoukas reprised the Rafi role.  Most notably were the episodes that guested Mantzoukas and Brie Larson (United States of Tara), as Ruxin’s slutty au pair.

Ruxin, who seems to need Rafi whenever he is locked in a dilemma that the expert liar can not navigate alone, calls on Raffi to move into his home temporarily to make his free loading babysitter (Brie Larson, United States of Tara) uncomfortable.  When Ruxin opens the door on Rafi, who is sitting on the bowl, he becomes immediately revulsed.  But Rafi, always over the top, and in over the top style, declares that Ruxin is “watching it happen” right now (“The Au Pair”, S3, E3), before Ruxin has a chance to run out of there.  At moments like these we are left to wonder why show regulars Kevin and Pete have never made us laugh the way Rafi does in one scene.  Ruxin, Andre, Jenny (Katie Aselton) and Taco are consistently funny, but we can’t say we have any problems with their roles being minimized in order to find lines for Rafi, who is approaching “funniest character on TV” status.  This was the case a few weeks back during S4, E5 (“Breastalyzer”), when Andre had at best a nominal role, we assume, in order to make room for Rafi, whom Ruxin calls in because he has a conundrum.  His gorgeous wife Sophia (played by positively sizzling Nadine Velasquez) has signed their young son up for swim classes that meet regularly every Sunday through the end of football season, so Ruxin asks Rafi to take the boy to swimming class and to pretend to be Ruxin while there, so he can keep things cool with his wife.

Rafi steals the show in his very 1st line, as they cut to him on the couch next to Ruxin as Sophia informs Ruxin of his swim class obligation.  The audience doesn’t even know he’s there until Sophia starts walking out of the living room, when he declares that he “could watch her walk out of a room for hours.”

Rafi: “My sister’s body is bonkers.  I hope you you’re hitting that.”

Ruxin: “I have an idea.”

Rafi: “Jerkoff party (undoing his pants). I like where you’re going with this.”

Ruxin explains how he needs him to take the boy to swim class and impersonate him.  He also explains that there’s no smoking and no knives at swim class.

Rafi: “What if there’s an attack?”

Ruxin explains that there will be only mothers and children in the pool.

Raffi: “That’s exactly what I would attack.”

At swim class, Rafi affects the ruse that he is Ruxin, as instructed, strips down to a speedo with alacrity, cannon ball’s the pool (“Rafi Bomb”, below), and then criticizes the instructor for allowing a pool of 5 yr olds flotation devices.

Rafi: “You think they’re gonna get one of these when the Russians attack?”

After that, Rafi begins to hit on the instructor, Gail (Andrea Savage).  Cut to him arriving at Taco’s housewarming party with said instructor.  Rafi seeks out Ruxin and excitedly tells him his date is crazy.

Rafi: “We just had sex in the cab!”

Ruxin: “You just had sex in the back of the cab?”

Rafi: “In the back…of her body.”

Ruxin quickly discovers though, that Rafi’s date is his son’s swim teacher, those circumstances needing to remain secret to Sophia or the great dad myth will be blown.  So Ruxin orders Rafi to get rid of her.  Because Gail is not compliant, Rafi decides to tell her that he is in love with another woman in the room, who happens to be his sister.  His go to move is to French kiss her in front of Gail–an obvious, aggressive and overzealous kiss at that–and then to compliment Sophia on what a good kisser she is, Rafi style.  So he tells her she kisses so well it ‘made his dick hard.’. Sophia seemed intrigued at that, leaving open the awesome possibility of more hilarious incest jokes in The League’s future.

Sophia: “It’s hard, really?”

Rafi: “You wanna check?”

We won’t spoil the grand finale for you, one that left Rafi with the impression that he was going to have sex with Kevin and Taco’s mom.  But it was a grand finale, left to be executed by a rising star.

We enjoyed Jason Mantzoukas very much as a frequent voice on The life and Times of Tim and look forward to seeing him reprise his role as one of Laura’s Dern’s co-workers on Enlightened, which returns to HBO for S2 in the new year.  We also liked Mantzoukas in his recurring guest spot as off the cuff Indiana perfume giant Dennis Feinstein on Parks and Recreation.  And we get the premise of Rafi on The League: good for making a porno in Andre’s apartment with Dirty Randy (Seth Rogan), not so good at family gatherings.  Whether he is needed to creep out the help, stand in for Ruxin, or be Andre’s designated driver, who does not get the principle that designated drivers do not drink, mind you (Rafi, upon being questioned for guzzling a beer, says ‘don’t worry, I’ll crap the booze out.’. They ask him if that works. ‘Sorta.’), we are really hoping they find more uses for this fantastic character on The League.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

Tom and Gisele (above).  Don’t worry, Boston fans, we hate it as much as you do or more when Brady wears his Yankees cap.

So on Sunday evening Gisele Bundchen ripped into the New England Patriot receivers, as portrayed in the video above.  So what?  Is she a bad person?  Who knows?  I mean, she did arguably break up Brady and Bridget Moynahan, when Moynahan was like 8 months pregnant and whatnot, and Moynahan was a tad pissed.  So much so, that she decided to name her impending arrival with the acronym Brady hates the most:  JET (John Edward Thomas).  And Moynahan barred Brady from the birthing room and hates his guts to this day and always has, blah blah blah.

I hate to say so, but he is Tom Brady, one of the best quarterbacks to ever live.  All the normal people rules we are encumbered with, and some morals perhaps, do not bog down a guy like Tom Terrific.  Nor Gisele Bundchen for that matter.  This is like a Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie deal.  The biggest NFL star decided to trade up to a hotter piece of ass.  Sure many a big name star, male, female, whatever, would never think to do such a thing.  Sure.  But they can.  If they opt to do so, it’s done.  Survival of the hottest, the fittest, the best looking, the tallest, the richest, and on and on and on.

We can’t kill her for that and we can’t kill Tom either.  Who knows?  Maybe Moynahan is so annoying that Tom was playing for the out all along.  Or maybe the Bundchen sex is just that good.  At least some good came of it all:  Brady’s kid is named Jet.  And that’s priceless.

It was beginning to look like for a long time that would be the greatest pleasure that Brady would allow the Brady haters.  Then Bernard Pollard put that hit on Tom’s knee, causing him to miss almost a full season, and we were giddy, thinking he might be done for.  But Tom is just that good.  Other guys might not have come back as strong, or at all, and here comes Brady back, setting records and making Super Bowls.

Thank the Lord almighty that he has been losing them.  Losing to the Giants 17-14 a few years back and devastating the perfect season was a bounty, for sure.  Oh, the press conferences!  Nothing at all quite like hearing Tom Brady whine.  Let me turn you on to this, please, if you are unaware.  When the Brady haters have the great fortune of the Patriots losing a game, as rare as that may be, they should go to the Patriots website and watch the Brady press conference, and for that matter, the Belichik one too.

Now that’s entertainment.  Seems like an oxymoron, Belichik and entertainment, but trust me nontheless.  It’s such a hot ticket must see that I still have my TV tuned in to NBC waiting for it to happen.  Perhaps Little Bill will see fit to throw us that bone yet.  But after the Patriots latest Super Bowl loss to the Giants, we made due with Brady’s words, and Bundchen’s, and we are grateful that they didn’t deny us.

And understand that Bundchen’s words really are Brady’s anyway, further reason not to jump on the Bundchen bash bandwagon.  This nonsense is all Brady.  Anyone who knows football knows that when a quarterback says ‘we just didn’t make enough plays’ what he really means is ‘I played fine.  THEY didn’t make enough plays.’  Say whatever you want about the guy, love him to death if you like, but understand that team players do not sell out their mates, and do not make thinly veiled criticisms like that.

Bundchen is going to say these things and you can’t really nag at her team spirit or anything, because it’s a stratified team, and the Patriots are really a one man gang.  Bundchen is watching the game in a sky box.  She doesn’t associate with the commoners.  It’s not like even Randy Moss calibre guys and their girls are socializing with Tom and Gisele, though we’d have given a few dollars to witness a dinner party with Brady, Bundchen, Moss, and that old gal of Randy’s from Ft. Lauderdale who claims he forced her to digitally stimulate his anus so hard that she broke her finger.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323230,00.html

Do you think Bundchen really uttered those words about her husband not being able to ‘throw and catch the ball’, as though they were her own?  Please.  These are probably the things that they talk about behind closed doors.  Tom says, ‘Yeah so I’m the best and all’ and then Gisele says, ‘You’re the best, baby.’  Then Tom says, ‘and by the way, if we lose, it’s because the team sucks.  Not because I suck.’

Wethinks that conversation was definitely had.  I mean, Gisele is sending out these emails for people to pray and shit…who does that?  She does it, because she is in the war room with him behind closed doors and he is not confident about the game, for obvious reasons, and she knows it.  So let’s all pray for Tom Brady, right?

You know what?  We’re gonna hold off on that.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

We’ll be real right now, as we are wont to do.  We don’t despise Green Bay more than any other team that’s not a divisional opponent of the Jets, and nowhere near as much as Dallas, Oakland, Pittsburgh, Denver, Indy, or Washington.  Or Philadelphia, naturally.  We loved the whole Lombardi thing.  Books, documentaries, whatever.  (Brooklyn holler!)  We don’t wish to be too venomous in this space on this topic, so be advised that the opinion we are expressing is not meant to heap fresh scorn on Joe Philbin, Green Bay’s Offensive Coordinator, and it’s not like he’s sitting around reading us anyway.

But as we like to say, we have the right to say it, so we’re saying it.  It’s hard for us to mourn a kid who rapes little girls.  Frankly, we aren’t about to do it.  Nor can we mourn for a family that created an environment in which little girls get passed out drunk and then are sexually assaulted in the bed where the head of the household sleeps.  Yup.  Meet the Philbins, America.  Meet good old minor raping family USA and then figure out what is the proper way in which to regard them.

Was Michael Philbin Ben Roethlisberger Jr?  Yes, more or less.  Less the arm, more the convictions.  But here we have a football coach neglectful of his family, bordering on criminally so, and another football brat, bent on criminal sexual deviance.  Organized and calculated criminal sexual deviance.

We can’t say we read the Green Bay newspapers.  We aren’t one of the 10,000, so we didn’t know until the other day that this kid was a sex offender.  And don’t throw semantics at us.  That the judge for some reason didn’t make the kid register as a sex offender says more about the kid’s patrician status as the son of a Packer coach than it does about the truth.

Also, this wasn’t an isolated offense.  Two rapes, two sixteen year olds, two sentences.  This kid was a serial rapist.  As the families of the victims expressed, the class of the crime (misdemeanor) did not adequately portray the seriousness of the offenses.  Really, a little pedophilia is only tolerable in the fictional worlds spun by Tom Robbins, and otherwise, is no laughing matter.

When we heard that the Philbin kid was fished out of that lake cold, we assumed it was another dysfunctional football family, good from far, far from good, religious but not moral, and that an attention deprived kid took his life.

We could have a little bit of sympathy for that.  But not for a victim-ful crime family.  No understanding either.  Sex criminals and child abusers may get opportunities to rehabilitate themselves, but do they really, and really, who even cares anyway?  Would we have trusted our daughters around this kid because he had spent 4.5 months in jail?

Absolutely not.  And we can not trust his father either.  Again, we think only his patrician status stood between him and some sort of charge that he had endangered the welfare of a minor, what with the wild liquor and rape party going down in his home, the rapes between his sheets.

What of the tears shed by the Philbins at their son’s sentencing?  Tears of guilt?  Regret?  Contrition?  Responsibility?  Or of shame for their “good name”?  Or because their lad was off to the pen?

Spoke to Mr. White this morning.  He’s a Dolphin fan.  He said he was hoping Philbin became his next head coach.  Why not?  He’s obviously a very good football coach.  That really was never the problem.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

We follow labor relations very closely.  From where we sit, the side doing the most grandstanding is the side on weaker ground.  Enter Roger Goodell (above) and his downright insulting letters to fans in recent weeks, fans who he is obviously desperate to curry favor with.  Some media types have downplayed the NFL’s lack of a collective bargaining agreement, and want to tell you that no fan really cares about this mess until and unless games are lost in the 2011 season.  If that’s the case, then the fans are flat out stupid.  Occum’s Razor here: the players are the game, and the commisioner, despite being careful to always couch his deception in the the lie that he wants what is best for the players, is an employee of the owners.  It’s that simple.  The owners pay his salary, and he is their representative.  You could poll every one of the 1,500 or so players and they could all give the commish a gushing review.  Those reviews wouldn’t make one bit of difference to the man’s job security.  The only thing that matters is what the owners think of him, and the only thing the owners care about is taking money and benefits from the players.

In letter one, fired off by Goodell on January 3rd, Goodell suggested that the status quo was absolutely unacceptable and that the game would not be able to function successfully under the current labor conditions.  This is the richest sport in the world, making well more than any other sport in the world, coming off its most successful season.  Ever.  Goodell says he needs to do this, to head toward a lockout, to improve the future of the game for “the players and the fans.”

Really?  This is the league that has given us personal seat licenses.  They care about the fans so much that they devised the brilliant idea of charging people thousands of dollars for the right to purchase tickets for hundreds of dollars more.  We aren’t talking about a few thousand, either.  We are talking upwards of between $10,000-20,000 per seat.  You want four season tickets to the Jets or Giants, you are probably paying $80,000 before you even discuss the price of a game ticket. 

Having bled the fans dry and unable to squeeze any more from the tapped out masses, the owners, led by this disgusting liar, having now turned their attention to squeezing the players, who literally, are the game.  You’ve got guys, to a man, putting their bodies on the line, hundreds of times per week, and their brains, as we are now seeing with people like Mike Webster, Dave Duerson, Chris Henry, and Andre Waters.  Risking constant physical injury in a bloodsport should be lucrative work, but don’t think it’s good work if you can get it.  The life span of an average male these days is around 80 years old.  The life span of an NFL player is somewhere in the early 50’s.  Now that it is conclusive that guys are also putting their brains on the line, one would think the compensation and benefits should be increased and not decreased.  CTE–Chronic Traumatic Encephalitis–a neurological disease that ruins lives and leads to depression, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, and lack ofo impulse control, is a disease incurred from taking hits.  Isn’t that football, in a nutshell?

Dr. Bennett Omalu, a fantastic neurological physician who is out front with CTE research, is a guy the NFL paints a witch doctor.  His findings have been met by Goodell’s PR machine with an undignified, base smear campaign.  Omalu, as time goes by, is armed with more and more scientific data, and soon more, as he analyzes Dave Duerson’s brain–an excellent player and a brilliant man.  Last month Duerson killed himself by self inflicted shotgun blast to the chest, so that his brain could be analyzed fully intact for CTE.  And the “witch doctor” is addressing the House of Representatives on the dangers of the high intensity contact nature of football, at all levels.

These are nightmares for the players obviously, from a health standpoint, but from an economic one, for the league.  And what happened today, in the form of the NFLPA decertifying, is also a nightmare.  Small teams can not compete financially with big market teams.  The league, which is a collective, and built its greatness by sharing revenue, is now one where every owner is out for himself.  And really, it’s not the Cowboys or the Giants fault that Green Bay and Jacksonville are not able to compete economically.  Dallas and NY are real cities.  Football put Green Bay on the map in the first place.  It is not a real city.  When the Giants win the Superbowl, they have a parade 2 million strong.  When Green Bay wins, they can hardly muster 50,000 people.  How is that the players’ fault?

Jacksonville?  It’s not even a college town.  It’s a high school town.  They do not deserve pro football.  But their owner, and the moron from Carolina–a former player no less–is in these bargaining sessions screaming their heads off at the union. 

Dear NFL Fan,

When I wrote to you last on behalf of the NFL, we promised you that we would work tirelessly to find a collectively bargained solution to our differences with the players’ union. Subsequent to that letter to you, we agreed that the fastest way to a fair agreement was for everyone to work together through a mediation process. For the last three weeks I have personally attended every session of mediation, which is a process our clubs sincerely believe in.

Unfortunately, I have to tell you that earlier today the players’ union walked away from mediation and collective bargaining and has initiated litigation against the clubs. In an effort to get a fair agreement now, our clubs offered a deal today that was, among other things, designed to have no adverse financial impact on veteran players in the early years, and would have met the players’ financial demands in the latter years of the agreement.

The proposal we made included an offer to narrow the player compensation gap that existed in the negotiations by splitting the difference; guarantee a reallocation of savings from first-round rookies to veterans and retirees without negatively affecting compensation for rounds 2-7; no compensation reduction for veterans; implement new year-round health and safety rules; retain the current 16-4 season format for at least two years with any subsequent changes subject to the approval of the league and union; and establish a new legacy fund for retired players ($82 million contributed by the owners over the next two years).

It was a deal that offered compromise, and would have ensured the well-being of our players and guaranteed the long-term future for the fans of the great game we all love so much. It was a deal where everyone would prosper.

We remain committed to collective bargaining and the federal mediation process until an agreement is reached, and call on the union to return to negotiations immediately. NFL players, clubs, and fans want an agreement. The only place it can be reached is at the bargaining table.

While we are disappointed with the union’s actions, we remain steadfastly committed to reaching an agreement that serves the best interest of NFL players, clubs and fans, and thank you for your continued support of our League. First and foremost it is your passion for the game that drives us all, and we will not lose sight of this as we continue to work for a deal that works for everyone.

Yours,
Roger Goodell

A deal that works for everyone?  Franchise worth for even the smallest market teams is approaching one billion dollars.  What owner has paid a billion for their team?  What guy can’t walk away now, sell, and won’t have more money than God?  Just because you are a greedy prick who wants to make more money, doesn’t mean a deal isn’t working for you.  In reality, everyone wants more money, everywhere.  And they aren’t going to get it.  In a capitalist system, you are worth what your talent says you’re worth, and once again, it’s the players that have the talent, that get us to buy PSL’s and the NFL Ticket and who get us to turn on the games religiously.

I have news for Goodell.  A room where distinguished shark labor lawyers are being screamed on by hicks like Jerry Richardson may not be the best place for all parties to come to an agreement.  DeMaurice Smith, the NFLPA head, and the best executive director they’ve ever had, is going about his business properly.  Before he can make a deal, which he is willing to make, and one on which he is willing to take 8.5% less of the gross–very fairly too we might add, but mindful that 8.5% less of a much higher gross will actually be an increase in compensation–is willing to do this if he gets financial transparency from the league.  Laymen’s terms?  He needs to see the books.  Goodell wants him to give back billions of dollars and expects him to do so while not knowing the true financial state of the game.

What good negotiator would accept that?  Goodell is going to tell us that the league is working so hard here, that they have conceded to unprecedented givebacks, like the $82M for retired players.  How about just giving the players’ union what they need to make a deal, which is the financial information they have requested?  Here’s why they won’t do it: because he is an employee of the owners, and he is protecting his employers, because giving up this information would no doubt lead to a much worse deal for the teams.

Expert labor lawyers such as the ones employed by the players are in the driver’s seat right now.  The lockout, which just became official, means decertification, which means the players can now sue the clubs, because they are not represented by the union officially any longer, and the NFL is subject to lose it’s antitrust exemption.  U.S. District Judge David Doty, whose jurisdiction all this will fall under, is a labor friendly judge who has served the NFL owners several unpleasantries in the past.  And the national sentiment has got to be for the players here.  They want to play.  The want to work.  They are locked out.  The owners have shut down the game because they want more, not the players.

How could Goodell tell us this is what’s good for everyone when he and his crew of owners have shut down the game, and will be turning away injured players looking to get into team facilities to rehab on Monday and terminating their health benefits?  Goodell, who wants to tell us about the Michael Vick make good story, like he didn’t lie to police about a shooting just last August?  Goodell, who destroys evidence, like in Spygate, and then wants us take him at his word about what he saw on those tapes.  With financial transparency, it’s the same thing from this liar.

That salutation, “Yours”?  No way.  This guy is not our’s by any stretch.  He’s their’s.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com, www.crackbillionair.com

Mark Sanchez (above) at a recent Knicks’ game between actress Chloe Sevigny and Jet TE Dustin Keller.

We’re not going to say too much about this until more of the story comes to light, but www.deadspin.com is in the process of breaking a big story about Mark Sanchez, a 17 year old New Jersey girl, and some photos apparently stolen from Sanchez that were taken in his bedroom.

On Friday afternoon, Deadspin published a letter from a lawyer representing a 17-year-old girl warning them that there will be legal action if Deadspin publishes a story about his client. A.J. Daulerio, Deadspin’s editor, doesn’t reveal the nitty gritty of the story is, but he doesn’t leave in many blanks either. 

Daulerio writes that they’ve been working on a story about Sanchez “romancing” the girl in question and that they are in possession of photos sent to them by the girl from Sanchez’s bedroom. Daulerio promises that the entire story will be revealed on Tuesday and writes that the Jets have been made aware of the story and are preparing a statement.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/sports/Mark-Sanchez-Might-Be-Feeling-A-Bit-Nervous-This-Weekend-115330494.html

http://deadspin.com/5752262/mark-sanchezs-17+year+old-lady-friend-has-found-a-lawyer

At the above Deadspin link you can read a letter that the girl’s lawyer fired off to that site.  Deadspin is all over the Jets, breaking it’s 3rd major Jet related story in recent months.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/michelle-ryan-a-k-a-ihaveprettyfeets-swinger-profile/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/rex-ryans-wife-in-foot-fetish-videos/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/ines-sainz-go-back-to-mexico-bikini-shots/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/26/favre-admitted-sterger-voicemails-to-nfl/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/favre-sent-pic-of-his-penis-to-former-jets-sideline-reporter/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/favres-wife-ill-bang-the-bible/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/favre-also-hit-on-jets-team-masseuse-her-husband-calls-favre-fucking-scumbag/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/favre-perversions-exposed-in-detail-audio-and-penis-pics/

Again, it’s hard to know what really happened as of this point, but obviously Sanchez is less than the squeaky clean poster boy he plays the part of.  We are not saying he slept with the girl, but we will tell you we believe the age of consent is 16 in New Jersey.  Although, if something did go on, who really knows when it started?

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com, www.crackbillionair.com)

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