Twitter


nathan-fielder-drug-prank-text-550x330Above is Comedy Central’s new dynamo Nathan Fielder, and the results of his interesting Twitter experiment from a few weeks back which some enjoyed less than others, shall we say.  LOFL.

Nathan Fielder, a friend to small businesses during these trying economic times, has been responsible for several irresponsible promotions on S1 of what is already a cult classic, Comedy Central’s “Nathan For You.”  Such as: impossible to claim rebates, nonsensical refunds, an ad campaign for a restaurant based on its bathroom policy, and allowing hot chicks to shoplift from a California clothing boutique.

To get over his fear of socializing with women, Nathan set up a fake bachelor-esque show in which he’d spend time with 10 different women.  On that “show” though, he was insecure around the handsome host, so he banished him from the room, and later, revealed to the women that the host had admitted he’d once had a threesome, proceeding to tell the ladies it was a threesome with 2 men.  To help a similarly afflicted co-worker get over his own shyness toward the female sex, Nathan set the guy up with one of his former “contestants”.  Because of sponsorship issues, that date occurred at a Quizno’s.  And Nathan radio-ed that co-worker dialogue from the back of the Quizno’s via a remote ear piece, because that’s the kind of guy he is.  And a lot of that dialogue happened to be plugs for Quizno’s, because that is also the kind of guy he is–downright annoying as fuck.

We think Nathan’s buttoned down, clean cut look–the classic Blockbuster video get up–and low key approach make these stunts all the more outrageous, and increase his ability to get away with such shenanigans.  Like when he tries to help out a struggling funeral parlor by staging a fake wake, which he has both written and cast himself, in the span of a couple of hours.  First, Nathan chooses his actors, casting all comers, including a woman claiming to specialize in accents, who we felt Nathan would definitely cut, after asking her to do a Canadian accent, which she fails at miserably, instead doing a bad brogue.  Nathan looks set to bounce her, we think, as he explains to her that he is from Canada.  Instead a large “HIRED” sign is stamped across the screen.  Cut to a Filipino looking dude who is sitting across from Nathan, and when Nathan asks him to show him what he has, this dude says, in broken English, “I am Sean Connery!  I want massage!  Rah!”

HIRED!

Each actor, worse than the next, hired, to then act out this script, awful at best, and yet hilarious, which we know from the get, as a eulogist comes forward and says, “I am so so sad right now.  I am so so sad.  Steve was a great guy.  Steve once gave me a thousand dollars for no reason.”

But that is not all.  Because when Nathan’s revitalization play is over, he asks the funeral director lady for his gift, explaining that usually when he revitalizes a funeral home, he is presented a gift afterward.  When she has no gift, Nathan, appearing pained, asks if she would not mind giving him a gift he had pre-wrapped in case she didn’t have something for him, on camera.  When the woman agrees to do so, Nathan shocks us all when he actually opens that gift, revealing a pair of scissors, at which he incredulously begins to criticize the gift that he himself essentially gave to himself, chiding the woman for giving him such a “strange” gift.

We appreciate very much this style of comedy, as Nathan has definitely capitalized on his lack of notoriety, and the comedic misdirection and unpredictability with which he operates is a godsend.  In another episode, Nathan is tasked to hulk up a private investigation business, which he plans to help by writing a positive review on Yelp, if the P.I. can find one missing person: Nathan Fielder.

Fielder then hires 20 actors who look like him to impersonate him in order to confuse and irritate the P.I., then he allows himself to be found, re-ditches the guy, and then has an Asian Fielder stand in jump in the car with the P.I. who takes a look at him and says, “Who the fuck are you?!!!”

To which the fake Nathan replies in a very bad English accent, “I am Nathan.  I just spoke you 2 minute ago.”

This is fucking comedy genius, trust us. Like Sacha Baron Cohen, who Nathan really reminds us of, Nathan has maximized his obscurity for optimum comedic effect.  And also like Cohen on Da Ali G Show, Fielder is dealing in reality type situations, where he is mining the vast potential of comedic gold that is the average American moron.

Kudos.  We are thrilled that Comedy Central bought this pitch and was quick to renew Nathan for what we know will be a crazy season 2 come next winter.  So if you don’t know Nathan Fielder yet,  in the immortal words of Ali G, “you better listen and you better learn about him.  For real.”

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

imagesJustin Gimelstob (above, r.), who went big time, with sickening Jay Leno.

We did not think Rafael Nadal played very well in his much ballyhooed return to the tour on South American clay, as we watched him labor to beat Jeremy Chardy 6-2, 6-3 in a mid round match.  The score line may suggest relative ease, but that wasn’t the case.  The match took 1:31, a long time for a match to go in which you only drop 5 games, and Chardy had plenty of chances to make it even closer.  The rallies were long–too long for Nadal who is still out of shape–and Nadal drifted well beyond the baseline, practically playing many strokes with his back against the back wall.  And then there was the stalling.  Nadal was called, given warnings, for not serving within the allotted 25 seconds, which frankly, is always there when Nadal plays but seldom called.

A lot is being made over Nadal’s win in the final last weekend in Brazil over David Nalbandian, but one day before, Nadal was mere points away from being eliminated, down a set and fighting for his life in the second set breaker.  And that was against world # 91, poor man’s journeyman Martin Alund, who is now 27 and has zero titles in zero finals made.  We’d say that Nadal does not look good here in this return, and that had he returned for the Australian Open, he would have probably had a bad showing.

We were all over Justin Gimelstob that week on Twitter in the first week of Nadal’s return in Chile at Vina Del Mar, with good reason.  Gimelstob, a Nadal sycophant, seemed to have a list of Nadal talking points he wanted out there, which we have no doubt came from the star himself.  Like how Gimelstob urged that the chair use discretion when calling the time code, and how people were wrong to assume Nadal was stalling because of his knees when he routinely abuses the code as ritual, because Nadal likes to, as he explained, ‘really think through strategy between points.’

Really?  Because a guy that misses 7 plus months due to injury and who has chronic knee problems which have kept him out of 3 majors since 2009, would really raise the ire of an announcer when it is suggested that he stalls because the guy is lame?  By the way, we find Nadal’s one more ball back/heavy topspin forehand to backhand strategy completely simplistic and elemental, and the suggestion that Nadal is doing all of this thinking is insulting to us as real fans.  Especially when we feel that enforcing the time code is an important step that the chair has made collectively to improve the game.  Really, who in the game does not enforcing the code help other than Nadal?

Then you had Gimelstob state that Nadal is “one of the best doubles players in the game”, which, when considering the disservice that playing doubles at IW did to his career to follow, and how Gimelstob lauded Nadal for winning there, conveniently omitting the fact that Nadal has not even set foot on a hardcourt since, is questionable at best.  Nadal is a very talented doubles player, and we’ll not argue that.  But doubles has decimated Nadal, as has Plexicushion, and for everyone to pretend this is not the case for the sake of a constant Nadal love fest is disgraceful.  As is Nadal for missing a major in order to practice on clay instead, though if again, he is shaky on clay, it does not bode well for the rest of his game.  It’s nice that Nadal, at the age of 25, has finally figured out that Plexicushion is ruining him, but to say he’s needed a brick to fall on his head in order to realize as much would seem totally accurate.  It would also be nice if a high profile commentator like Gimelstob, who was himself an attacker, would acknowledge that Nadal’s constant grinding, inability to hit winners consistently, and necessity for long points has been essentially Nadal both living and dying by the same sword.  This is where we feel Gimelstob, who burst on the scene as a big time commentator due to his honesty and unabashed enthusiasm for the sport, has taken a back seat in recent months to announcers like legends John McEnroe, Boris Becker, and Jim Courier, who we thought for a while he was set to surpass.  What Gimelstob should have said was that Nadal’s doubles prowess has come at the expense of his singles career, because his job is to do more than throw out hollow platitudes, by offering more substantial commentary to the hardcore fans who are watching match to match on The Tennis Channel.  Because what match in, match out fans of the game are really sitting there marveling at Nadal’s doubles ability in the wake of him missing the entire US Open, Indoor, and Australian seasons, when the guy has zero doubles majors to his credit?  What a John McEnroe does in providing meaningful commentary is to point out that Nadal’s excellent hands at net, which he seldom showcases in singles, could be a boost to his longevity and might serve to prevent him from breaking down so much if he could find a way to be more intrepid.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/aussie-open-round-of-16s-kuznetsova-upsets-wozniacki-on-laver-federer-raonic-tonight/

But therein lies the rub with Gimelstob, who, we assume in his role as an official ATP guy, is looking to divorce himself from controversial, i.e. honest stances.  Guys like Nadal and Murray, who are talented net players, but who only approach net a handful of times per match have essentially rendered that skill moot by way of ignorance, and so wouldn’t it be more relevant for him to talk about why these guys would squander such ability due to under use?  Instead, we hear Gimelstob pushing Nadal’s agenda, which is to suggest the YEC be played on clay, rather than questioning Murray’s lack of initiative, we hear him talking all about Murray’s new apartment in London.

A guy like Boris Becker, who shoots straight as an arrow, has even been heard to criticize the great Roger Federer.  Martina Navratilova, as solid in the booth as they come, has panned players like Murray and Wozniacki, labeling their failures and the correlation to passive play as “the same old story.” She has labeled Nadal’s injury woes as “the same old story.”  These announcers have done something serious by denouncing the style of play, and in Nadal’s case, have connected the style of play with the physical toll, which Gimelstob disservices us by failing to admit exists.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/australia-plexicushion-bad-for-tennis-the-state-of-one-handers-and-the-game/
https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/as-1-wozniacki-is-done-see-camel-toe-shot/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/all-england-club-forced-to-seed-undeserving-wozniacki-first-upskirt-shot/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2011/05/28/unworthy-wozniacki-destroyed-roger-looking-smashing-at-roland-garros-see-vegas-odds/

Gimelstob doesn’t have the star power that they do, making honesty all the more precious a commodity for him, though he has definitely lost it along the way somewhere.  In fact, upon reflection, we’re happy that we were not subjected to this type of hack announcing from Gimelstob, who was noticeably absent from the AO ESPN mix channels coverage.

So Nadal plays perhaps his worst match on clay ever in that final and loses in a 3rd set breaker to Horacio Zeballos, then around world #73, and it is obvious to any true fan of the game that this is not the same indestructible clay court Nadal we have come to expect.  Gimelstob essentially tiptoed around the issue, another real disservice, we thought, to the tennis world.  As it would be to play the YEC indoors on clay, as indoor clay is the height of tacky, the most bush league a move there is, reserved for clay court specialist team tennis nations and the Porsche Cup at Stuttgart, which is a high quality surface in exactly zero arenas, and in most cases, is just clay heaped carelessly atop a hard wood, like the surface upon which John Isner, who we don’t see ever beating Roger Federer on an outdoor clay court, upset Roger Federer in Fribourg in February of 2012.  And frankly, we recall Federer’s back tightening up in that match, which we attributed to traction issues.

The next week, Nadal is set to play doubles with Nalbandian, and withdraws due to “knee overuse.”  The finals loss and the subsequent doubles withdrawal, coupled with the fact that playing doubles helped put Nadal in this predicament in the first place, was a huge tennis story, and we commend honest reporting like Matt Cronin’s, who was all over the withdrawal, calling it one of the strangest bits of phraseology he could ever remember regarding injury/non injury propaganda.  But then Nadal goes on to win Brazil despite the showing against Alund, which now seems a non a issue.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/down-under-poor-conditions-see-players-drop-like-flies-see-radwanska-survival-press-conference-video/

Today the story broke on Twitter regarding Nadal skipping Indian Wells, which Nadal already refuted, since putting out a statement through his camp that he ‘intends to play.’  Nadal has not played on hardcourts since IW in 2012, and at this point in the season he is usually playing on hards, but obviously this year he has played exclusively on clay.  If he missed a major where he was a defending finalist, why would he risk playing at IW in the Masters Series, with relatively little at stake besides points?

We think Nadal is playing coy when he says he ‘intends to play.’  We think he said he intended to play Melbourne, and how’d that turn out?  It seems to us that Nadal is trying to pull it together to play the soft court season only, and that like last season, he will barely keep it together through Wimbledon.

What would Gimelstob think of that?  We think we know already,though we don’t expect him to tell the truth.  We think Gimelsob is, at this point, resigned to seeing Nadal on a limited basis, and that he feels a little Rafa is better than none, which is probably why he has been on the shill for a clay court YEC.  One thing you can’t fault Gimelstob for is wanting Nadal back at a high level, as it is good for the sport, which is why we are always outraged when players who can go skip majors, as we do not think that is good for the sport or show’s the proper respect to the majors that they deserve.  Instead of getting together with Nadal to disseminate propaganda, Gimelstob and Nadal should deliver the bad word about Plexicushion and other soft hards, which beat the hell out of the players worse than anything, while promoting bland, timid, reaction tennis and one dimensional defensive style tennis.  Since Roger Federer has already announced that he will skip Key Biscayne and it’s tacky, bland, frustrating Defense Pro soft hardcourt, which frankly, we feel plays worse than fucking Lenglen and Philippe Chatrier.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

613494-agnieszka-radwanskaWorld #4 Agniezska Radwanska (above), as she struggles to deal with oppressive conditions at The Apia in Sydney.

One of our ones to watch, the very talented and stylish young one hander Grigor Dimitrov, makes his 1st ever tour final over the weekend.  This week, he rolls out to Sydney where he gets bounced, 1 & 3, by Fognini, a vastly inferior player.  Maybe Dimitrov, still young, doesn’t yet have mastered the art of the quick turn around.  Not exactly likely since to break into the main draw bubble at lesser tournies like these, he’s had to go the hard scrabble qualifier route to make his bones, often playing 3 matches before his 1st round match.  This, after a prolific junior career in which he won both the Wimbledon and US Open junior titles.  Maybe though.  Also unlikely that Benoit Paire, after a strong week in India would fall so flat the next week, another 1st round  casualty, this time in Auckland.  Certainly couldn’t be the problem for John Isner, already lame this new year despite virtually no match play at all.  But only in Australia is freshness and injury such a concern, though the new year has yet to see it’s 10th day.

http://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/tennis/american-john-isner-withdraws-from-australian-open-with-knee-injury/story-fnddkxkr-1226551036599

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2010/06/09/grigor-dimitrov-one-handed-tennis-prodigy-out-in-2nd-round-at-queens-club-see-dimitrov-clips/

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You must know we’re quite likely to chalk up assorted leg, back, shoulder and elbow injuries Down Under to surface issues most of the time.  I mean, is it not a little curious that Rafael Nadal, who is practicing full bore on red clay, we hear, in Barcelona, and is making bold, confident proclamations on Twitter that he is great to go, and in fact expects to have a banner 2013?  Just not in Australia, which, apparently healthy, he has decided to skip entirely. Nadal is always subject to injury from his horrible defensive style–running, endless points, infinite pounding–but there can be no denying that a 6 hour, 5 set Aussie final on Plexicushion left him staggered.  So staggered in fact that despite today claiming perfect health, he is nowhere to be found around Melbourne not 5 days before a major, the 2nd straight major he is about to miss, making for a 7th straight month without match play.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/australia-plexicushion-bad-for-tennis-the-state-of-one-handers-and-the-game/

Rather quizzical to us that Nadal would then go play singles and doubles at Indian Wells, also on Plexicushion, but you’ll never hear us accuse Nadal of being bright.  Perhaps never more obvious were the negative effects of Plexicushion than in the IW semis, where Federer smoked Nadal easily, despite the sizable advantage the torturously slow, high bouncing surfaces affords a pusher like Nadal, for whom the basic total of his strategy is praying for high bounces.

But supposedly the Plex is so great on the joints, right?  And of course, it absorbs the heat so well, so much better than the previous surface, Rebound Ace (ever hear those myths about Rebound Ace melting in the sun to the point where the courts and the players’ shoe bottoms become one?  LOL.  Propaganda, thy name is Tennis Australia).  There is such a hypocritical dichotomy with Tennis Australia which is both insulting and disgusting at once. Rebound Ace was so great when it was in, despite widespread dissatisfaction with that.  Plexicushion is so great now, despite widespread dissatisfaction with this.  We can not temper our disdain for Craig Tiley, Tennis Australia’s major domo and the AO’s Director, who is greedy, moronic and an unabashed liar all at once.  This week,  Tiley has instructed tournaments to soldier on in the face of unrelenting heat.  Inhumane conditions, to be perfectly honest.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/tennis/australian-open-director-craig-tiley-plays-down-injury-curse-at-melbourne-park/story-fnddjf3n-1226549183121

 Drysdale, Hewitt, Pat Cash, Peter McNamara, Liz Smylie and Jason Stoltenberg were among a host of tennis figures critical of Tiley and TA.  As TA’s director of player development, Tiley yesterday accused his detractors of peddling misinformation.  Drysdale, a former TA employee, was incensed.

 “His comments show a complete lack of respect for the culture of Australian tennis,” Drysdale said. (You can read the full article at the link below.)

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/lleyton-hewitts-manager-slams-craig-tiley/story-e6frf9if-1225836305014

Tiley is a guy who wants us to believe Plexicushion plays like grass, that it absorbs heat in superior fashion, and that it is not slower than Nadal between points.  Fooling the public is one thing.  Fooling the players is another, as we see from a variety of Aussie players above.  Yet Tiley seems to challenge every negative player reaction.  Let us ask who’d be in a position to know better the true tendencies of the court?  Tiley, who is obviously over invested, or Lleyton Hewitt, who every summer has the same exact grade of Plexicushion poured in his own backyard, to spec, as the ones freshly laid at Melbourne Park?

On Monday, Wimbledon runner up Aggie Radwanska, whose game is dependent on conditioning, calls for the tournament director to ask for a suspension in play, as the temperature on court hits 50 degrees Centigrade, or 122 degrees.  After the match, Radwanska describes the conditions as essentially barbaric for all involved, from players to spectators to concessioneers.  How does Tiley spin that, pardon pun?  Below is a Youtube link to Radwanska’s press conference yesterday, in which she said, among other things, that Sydney is less about tennis and more about pure survival:

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/sport/suvival-more-important-than-tennis-agnieszka-radwanska/story-e6frg7mf-1226549614639

Radwanska was not alone.  Jelena Jankovic, extremely dependent on slow courts, basically marveled at the awful conditions.  When Na Li, a major champion and very well respected player, 1st ever and only Chinese player to win a singles major, who also displayed tremendous courage and set an awesome precedent by defying the Chinese Tennis Federation’s bid to dictate the terms of her career and her purse (quite a coup by her to bring in Henin mastermind Carlos Rodriguez too, as she always seems to be making solid moves), speaks about poor conditions, she does so for the sport at large.  As does Roger Federer, on record already saying the courts are too slow, who is not playing Kooyong as we expected.  Federer, to conserve energy, is playing no matches this year on Australian Plexicushion outside of Melbourne Park, and knowing Roger, that is another tacit indictment of the conditions.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/01/08/uk-tennis-australia-warmups-idUKBRE90705120130108 (“Kuznetsova Overcomes Wozniacki in Sydney Heat”)

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/tennis/agnieszka-radwanska-downs-kimiko-date-krumm-no-worries-at-sydney-interantional/story-e6frfgao-1226549552738 (“Tennis Stars Make Heavy Weather of Searing Heat at Sydney International”)

It is obvious that the players are not enjoying the Australian experience–even native Australians–with the season coming right at the heart of the unbearable Australian summer.

So you ask perhaps why we harp on Australia’s lamentable geography?  For one, we don’t think it’s realistic that Australia keeps their status as a major tennis nation.  They do little to justify that status on the court, the travel to and from is murder, it is by no means an economic powerhouse as a nation, they have dulled and diluted theirs and the world’s talent pool by their choice of surface, and those aspects of their geography they can control, like picking a surface that mitigates the extreme heat, they have miserably failed at.  Why?  Because they lusted after deals with surface manufacturers and put the tennis second, which is an unconscionable sin in our eyes.

We apologize to the good fans of Australia, but as always, we provide our opinions in keeping with what we believe to be the truth.

Crackbillionair (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

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A juicy tidbit for electronic music fans: Danny Tenaglia, the best in the business, whose sets rarely become available for download, spun a 38 minute set in November which is available for download, recorded live at Pacha (and also called “Live at Pacha”) at the Hurricane Sandy charity benefit.  The set was also broadcast live on Sirius XM’s Area.  That the set was both broadcasted and is available make it a double treasure for Danny fans, as DT is notorious for safeguarding his sound and is extremely difficult to pirate when live.  Prior to the November Pacha set, it seems the last time a Tenaglia set was available was back at Electric Zoo in 2011, the common thread being perhaps that both sets were heard live on Sirius.  Maybe Danny has had a long overdue change of heart when it comes to being broadcast, at least, over satellite radio.  It wasn’t too long past when Danny refused to be broadcast from Ultra Festival at the WMC, causing Sirius to black out the entire hour long set.  Tenaglia is usually the only artist to withhold consent, but that instance, that he abstained was announced on the air, which let listeners know that the reason they couldn’t hear Danny…was Danny.  Though any real DT fan expected nothing different.  Danny’s rare accessible set from Pacha featured strong edits of “Walking on Fire” (though our favorite version is in Saeed Younan’s catalog from a Global DJ Mix back in 2005), giving us a window into classic Danny.  He also dropped “Be Yourself” and, in case you’re interested, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut — also classic Danny.

While Danny still manages to dominate the tribal genre’s landscape, to the point where he does not need to court the promotional benefits of podcasting, thankfully there are quality artists in the genre who do.  We’ve sung to you before the praises of Saeed Younan’s Spotlight Series, which we feel is the best monthly series available.  Younan, who spun after hours in NYC for Static Bookings on Sunday, has gone almost 2 months without a new episode.  We’re hoping that means that Saeed will soon upload the peak time of that set as his Christmas present to us.  Anyway, our fingers are crossed.  By the way, congrats to Saeed, who now has his own Youtube Channel.  Well done.  If you like the tribal sound, or what Saeed has rebranded as “Afro-tech House”, then you probably already know about those Iberican beats.  In which case you are missing out if you haven’t subscribed to the InStereo! Radio Show podcast by Chus Esteban (DJ CHUS).  In our view, Chus has been extremely magnanimous in bringing us this series, which stands alone as the best weekly podcast in dance music.  With most series, the constant is infrequency, and we’re lucky to get 4-5 new editions per year.  That CHUS updates weekly not only demonstrates his connection to the fans, but also the depth of his library and connections in the industry (we particularly liked the 11/9/12 episode, spun by DJ Sabb).  When CHUS addresses the listeners to introduce the show, he says “Hello buddies!”   As are most things with CHUS, it comes off as sincere.  CHUS has also podcasted several live shows on his podcast series or at http://www.clubspace.com or on the Pacha podcast series, usually with partner Pablo Ceballos.  Since the elite duo recently played Cielo on Thanksgiving night, we are hoping that Cielo makes it available through their podcast series, also found on iTunes.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2011/12/17/tribal-house-people-should-subscribe-to-saeed-ms-jennifer-podcasts/

The CHUS series contains no commercials, a notable feature, and though CHUS does speak, the talk is minimal, an appreciable selling point.  To DJ CHUS and to Chus & Ceballos we say thank you.  The Scumfrog’s Glam Scum International podcast has both commercial interruptions and frequent voice overs.  We like it nonetheless.  We go way back with the Scumfrog, who we found to be a shy person, but who is extremely loquacious in his weekly spot.  The talkative deejay does not usually go over so well in Electronica.  Danny can get away with it because the tracks are that good.   That doesn’t work for most, like for example, Mark Knight, whose voice and accent are repugnant.  Knight is also very campy with the old school radio deejay shtick.  It’s completely grating.  The Scumfrog seems to have a perfect persona for radio.  He’s funny and honest.  On a recent podcast, when doing an announce for a track by a former member of the Hoxton Whores, when he referred to said British act, he said “his words, not mine.”  It gave us a chuckle.  What is even funnier is how The Scumfrog disdains mashups, as well he should.  In announcing why he killed the mashup segment of the program despite it’s popularity, he essentially explained that mashups are horrible, that he’s sick of them, that he won’t waste anyone’s precious time with them any longer, and that if you like them so much you can download an app for your phone for free and make your own shitty  mashups.  Oh yeah, and that, in theory, if a good mashup were to come into his hands, which is unlikely, don’t worry because he’d play it.  Theoretically.

The Scumfrog’s podcast is the cream when it comes to radio style podcasts, which, in case you are confused, is not really the style of DJ CHUS’s podcast, despite the name, The InStereo! Radio ShowGlam Scum is probably one of the very few radio style podcasts worth listening to at all, which is a credit to The Scumfrog’s ear and other sensibilities.  We’ve always regarded him as an immense talent, as one would easily find by listening to his DJ sets.  While the podcasts feature short, clipped tracks with tight ins and outs, which may not be suited to your style if you have grown accustomed to completely continuous flow, you pretty much have to listen, if just for what you might miss if you don’t.  If Scumfrog’s playing it, it’s hot, and if you don’t like it at first, you should probably reserve judgment until the 3rd or 4th time you hear something.  But Scumfrog has an appreciation for what the fans want, and so his website offers his podcasts, commercial and voice over free, because as he himself says, the last thing you’d want to hear, say, if you played the cast at a party, are breaks or his voice.  Talk about magnanimous.  Perhaps he can have a word with Danny.

Many Scumfrog sets have been made available through the years at no charge.  When live, there is no pressure on him to get in and out, and you can really get a feel for his music, which is diverse, unique, eclectic, and hard, and for his style, which is a very smooth and bold brand of Prog House/Tech House/Deep House, as far as we can tell.  We remember a set made public probably 8 or 9 years back, at the height of the Limewire/WinMX piracy frenzy, in which Scumfrog comes in with a quick voice over to say that you should enjoy the music, that he wants us to have it.  That’s class.  In that set, Scumfrog drops a most classic bomb, probably the biggest bomb of all time at that — “Trippin” by Goldtrix featuring Andrea Brown.  Now we’ve heard almost all of the versions of ‘Trippin” that there are, and whatever version this was, was the best that we’ve heard, to this day.  Unfortunately for us, we are talking about the pre-Shazam era, and the rip was on our computer 2 hard drives ago, and since lost.  But that “Trippin”, probably circa ’03 or ’04, is no doubt in The Scumfrog’s library.  We’ve also admired Scumfrog sets on Global DJ Broadcast, and are particularly fond of two of his more recent sets, the “No Sleep til Brooklyn” party from last February, and the Robot Heart set from Burning Man, which we’ve tweeted about, and from which we have tweeted a good deal of tags.  It’s rare that a producer hits on so many big tracks.  While we see very hot acts getting a lot of the spotlight, who are admittedly good, like Miss Jennifer and Nicole Moudaber, in overlapping genres, we don’t see them hitting home run after home run like Scumfrog, with tracks like “Pavement Cracks”, “Music Revolution”, and most recently, “If I Ever Lose My Faith.”  These are giant tracks and the sets are monstrous, so by our standards, this man does not receive the credit he is due.

Scumfrog has made his sets widely available through Soundcloud, Mixcloud, and iTunes, and they are among the best sets available anywhere.  Multiple Burning Man sets of his are available on iTunes at the Distrikt podcast series, and frankly, they are the only sets there that aren’t hideously trancey.  Just when we were especially lamenting Scumfrog’s relocation to New Mexico, thinking back on numerous Sullivan Room and Pacha dominant sets, our email pings, and lo and behold, Scumfrog is spinning this Saturday, back where he belongs, at the famed Sullivan Room in NYC.  Talk about luck.  We’ve got our tickets already.

Maybe Scumfrog will even be more personable than the last time we ran into him, which was at the old Limelight, or by then Avalon temporarily, for Steve Lawler’s Lights Out tour, which had to be about 9 years ago, if our math is decent.  There was a buzz that night at one point because Scumfrog was there, and a lot of people recognized him and were hassling him.  Including us.  We hate to be a hassle, really, and only wanted to pass on our respect, but we understand what it’s like to be surrounded by crackheads, and we also usually live by the credo that the best interactions are the ones that do not take place.  So we thought it was funny when Scumfrog denied being Scumfrog despite the fact that we all knew he was who he was.  Maybe that shit plays out west, we don’t know.  But this is NYC, and if you are out at Steve Lawler in a snow storm, chances are you can recognize Scumfrog, a blonde headed, skinny giant.  LOL.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/limelight-no-simple-pill-to-swallow/

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/limelight-jen-gatien-comments-on-critique/

We are all about the music, and would tolerate being snubbed a thousand times over if it meant that Scumfrog was going to keep putting out so much accessible music.  So if he would rather stay tight up in the booth, but could find his way to dropping a bomb like “Trippin”, we’d be happy to consider ourselves ahead in the bargain, as we already are indeed.  And to him also, a hearty thank you.  Subscribe to the podcasts mentioned here in this space and support these artists whenever possible.  They are truly deserving and you will be happy that you did.

Season’s Greetings.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

An old set of Limelight flyers (above) that take us back to better days.

https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/limelight-no-simple-pill-to-swallow/

I like the careful consideration to the subtext of the film– without calling the feds to the mat, the film suggests that there was massive misconduct. As someone who lived through the experience first hand, I know just how horrific the prosecutor side was because the initial indictment had claims that turned out to be false, and yet they did not drop the case but instead added murky charges like RICO. And once the headlines were printed, there was no way to recover from the damage. The feds lied repeatedly (and without any recourse) and said they while doing surveillance that my father took cocaine from his desk drawer and laughed as they put this in a report which was in his first indictment. Try defending yourself in federal court and in the court of public opinion when the NY Post read like a Giuliani newsletter.
My dad wanted someone to get answers from the prosecutors and the DEA agents because they never took the stand– I was hoping they would trust that the director was law enforcement friendly and could give their perspective. Sadly, I still want answers. Even without realizing that I was part of the film, no one on the government side would speak to rakontur– even a DEA agent who participated in a puff piece book (where no one from the defense side was ever asked to counter what he claimed) refused to be interviewed– he must have been too busy playing golf with Lord Michael (I am being literal and not facetious). DEA headquarters only agreed to an interview if “Gatien” was not mentioned– so basically we got nothing to explain how they could in clear consciousness proceed with the case knowing that every witness was lying to get a 5K letter (not one person who cooperated did ANY time despite mandatory minimums for their crimes which were on wiretaps and undeniable, and most significantly HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FATHER but their own profit making schemes).
Incidentally, my dad’s disappointment in the film is authentic and not some marketing ploy. He felt that the feds got away scot free once again.

It isn’t very often that we write something that doesn’t head directly into oblivion, but lo and behold, we were enormously gratified at the notice that Jen Gatien, who we consider royalty, has given to our Twitter and to this little page of ours.  Above appears Ms. Gatien’s very much appreciated comments on our thoughts on Limelight, as well as some of her personal feelings about the hardships her family suffered at the hands of the federal government.  It was also wild to have some very nice words tweeted about us by the film’s director, who’s films we absolutely love, Billy Corben.

Billy Corben ‏@BillyCorben
Fascinating comprehensive analysis of @rakonturmiami movie LIMELIGHT: Rise & Fall of Peter Gatien https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/limelight-no-simple-pill-to-swallow/ … via @crackbillionair

What a tremendous thrill to be noticed by Jen Gatien and Billy Corben.  We are very grateful to them for taking the time to read what amounted to a voluminous stack of text, some 4,000 plus words.  We had felt any real readers we have, appreciating the nature of this site, would want to know our take on Limelight, and so, when we lost the original critique during Hurricane Sandy, we endeavored to reproduce it.  By the way, we should thank our readers as well, who have pushed us up to 2.1 million views since we clicked on in March of 2010.  Thanks all.

Still, had we known that Ms. Gatien and Mr. Corben would grace us with their time, we probably would have primped the piece up some more.  We definitely meant Mr. Gatien no disrespect whatsoever.  We’d like to be clear on that.  Peter Gatien is a hero of ours who symbolizes all that is great about NYC and what NYC should be about, minus the fascist element.  As always, we only mean to speak candidly here in this space, and hope Mr. Gatien can take some solace from the fact that we did indeed understand the outrageous persecution he was subjected to, and thought the film did a good job portraying it, even without the participation of the persecutors, who frankly, had nothing to gain by going on the record.

In fact, their silence only underscores their maniacal intent, devious perversions of the law and the news, and acts to verify their standing as the true villains, the overwhelming face of evil.

When we look back on better days, the preferred memory is Limelight VIP all the way, lounging in that little glass room in the steeple, or surveying the dance floor from our convenient perch.  It was a very lucky thing that we were a part of.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

Douchebag at ESPY’s (above).

With a flood of Lin stuff coming to the fore today in the wake of the New York Knicks decision not to match the Houston offer sheet to Jeremy Lin, we felt it wise to reserve our print judgment on the kid for a bit.  But we knew what that judgment was going to be, more or less, since hearing that Lin had went back to Houston, after being informed the Knicks would match on the initial offer, and contorted the offer into one of less years and more guaranteed money.  That second offer contained the dreaded poison pill, a 3rd year salary of some $15M, which would have put the Knicks in cap hell in 2014, and would have seen the Knicks responsible for nearly $58M between Lin’s salary and the luxury tax # that the salary and the 7 other Knicks under contract in 2014 would have triggered.

We loved Tommy Dee’s take on the situation on http://www.theknicksblog.com and must credit him, as has Evan Roberts of WFAN, for being on top of all NBA trade and free agent matters this offseason, beating most of the Knicks beat to Knicks related stories, and also, the Nets beat on matters relating to the um, “Brooklyn” Nets.  And we understand Dee’s vitriol toward Jim Dolan, who he feels made a petty decision, another petty decision, in deciding not to match on Jeremy Lin.

As a long tenured Knicks fan, we appreciate his passion, knowledge, and the depth of his analysis.  But we woke up one morning about 27-28 years ago to discover that the Knicks had similarly passed on an opportunity to retain Bernard King, one of the greatest scorers to ever play the game, and the greatest scorer to ever don a Knicks jersey.  As much as we love Bernard King, we root for the team, not the player.  Strictly front of the jersey, is how that works.  If Dolan and the Knicks brass perceived that Lin had been disloyal, and, that signing Lin was cost prohibitive to running their team, then they were well within their rights to let him go.  Even if doing so constituted losing an asset that they had acquired for nothing.

Were we stunned to hear that the Knicks had acquired Raymond Felton?  Indeed.  And we’d also have to credit a guy that we have discredited often who we feel is slow to news in covering the Knicks, Frank Isola of the NY Daily News, who had the Felton story down cold by not too late in the evening on Saturday.  We feel that Felton is an upgrade over Lin, we know that Felton wished to be here, and that he waited out the Lin situation on the off chance that the Knicks would turn to him.  We loved Felton’s work here last year, in averaging 17 PPG and 9 APG in his Knick career, leading to his trade to Denver for Carmelo.  An out of shape Felton, who came with a bad attitude more often than not to the arena last year for the Trailblazers still averaged close to 11 PPG and 7 APG, numbers that few Knicks guards have put up in the last 20 years.  A motivated Felton, back with Stoudemire, who had his greatest success as a Knick on the receiving end of Felton’s largesse, is going to be a boon to the team and to both Stoudemire and Felton.  Getting Stoudemire back to where he was in 2010 will be essential to getting the Knicks over the next hump, which is to win a round in the playoffs, hopefully more.

Now back to Lin and Dolan.  Say whatever you want about Dolan, and we’ve said much, but at the end of the day, we like him, because his check book makes it all happen.  That’s in two sports.  The New York Rangers, our dearly beloved, is now a model NHL franchise, the apple of thirty or so city’s eyes, and it is Dolan who footed that bill.  It is Dolan who ultimately gives Glen Sather the opportunity to cut Brad Richards a $65M contract, and who gives Sather the freedom to run the organization as he wishes, creating the phenomenal situation the Rangers are in, from coaching staff, to roster, to the draft room and farm system, which is unmatched throughout the sport right now.  And if Zach Parise wasn’t such a dick then Dolan would’ve signed off an a monumental deal for him as well, and Parise could’ve played out his career in the mecca, as opposed to Minnesota, a place where big time athletes do not want to go.

Houston happens to be another place like that.  And when Jeremy Lin had that assurance from Dolan that the Knicks were going to match his 28M offer, he went back to Houston for better terms, terms Lin knew would hamper the Knicks ability to retain him.  Is Lin disloyal?  Absolutely.  Should he have pursued the best offer at all costs, as he did?  No.  If you want to be a Knick and the Knicks tell you they are keeping you, then you let it end right there, with a fat AAS of $7M per.  JR Smith could’ve pretended he was a good, loyal Knick and then went out and taken a big offer.  He didn’t.  Why?  Because he wanted to be here.  Because he isn’t that guy.  For all the things he is, for any dumb shit he’s done, he’s not a dishonest, money hungry amateurish NBA Chinese American Harvard hayseed.  Steve Novak also showed he wanted to be here when he could’ve pushed the envelope for a fatter payday.

What do we mean by that string of Lin insults?  Well, let’s be honest.  Jeremy Lin handled this situation terribly, right down to his crocodile tears today about wanting to be here, and his stupid fucking Twitter thank you to New York.  Jeremy Lin thought the Knicks had no option but him at point guard, and therefore, he thought, let’s try to extort NY.  Jim Dolan has every right to be upset and hurt by that.  Jeremy Lin, his team, his agent, whomever, underestimated the Knicks ability to find another guard within 72 hours.  Today, he said as much.  He had no idea that they had Felton on the back burner, and he says, had he known that, he wouldn’t have pressed for the poison pill contract with Houston.

Lin also said a lot of other things that expose him for the amateurish backstabber he is.  Like how he wanted to play in game 5 against Miami but that Knicks players in the league “5 years or more” talked him out of it, causing him to change his tune from “85% healthy” to “15% from the minimum threshold” of NBA game readiness.  We also have to hand it to Isola for pointing out these ridiculous statements in slapping Lin around all day.

Does Lin have some kind of special computer that only he owns that measures minimum threshold for NBA game readiness?  If so, was it engineered at Harvard?  Or by the Chinese?  If so, were they the same friends of Yao Ming who apparently orchestrated this whole Houston nonsense as a favor to Yao?  Because these Chinese roll so thick and all?  And what about the Knick vets with 5 years or more?

Did actuarial science really rob the Knicks of an 85% healthy but really 15% of minimum NBA readiness game 5 Jeremy Lin?  Did Lin really feel it was necessary to leak through his team that he was going to play, only to rescind, through his team, that he would, when playing or not playing against the Miami Heat was academic to the eventual result anyway?  And why was his team to be believed then, but last week, was not to be believed when Lin made his famous proclamation that ‘if it isn’t a direct quote’ from him then don’t believe it?  These are not the actions of a forthright, trustworthy individual.

Did the Knicks fuck Lin over initially by openly coveting Steve Nash?  No.  Does Lin suggest that the pursuit of Nash inclined Lin to backstab the NYK?

He does, but he is a dumb dick.  Coveting the best player at a given position is something that every team in the league should do.  If he thinks Houston didn’t covet Nash, then he’s a fool.  Only thing is, Nash isn’t stupid enough to do business with the Rockets or go live in that God awful place.

This is how great the Knicks were to Lin, in fact:  After giving him his big break, they were not even convinced of his ability to be a starter in the league considering that he only played a handful of games, and yet they were still willing to pay him 7M per, as a fucking backup.

Because the Knicks want to win, and so, they were willing to pay out over 20M to that one position, point guard, between Nash (10-12 M), Lin (7M AAS), Prignioni ($900,000), and Kidd (3M).  That’s what is so great about being a Knick fan, despite any folly perpetrated by their owners and management.  They’ll pay anything.

But they won’t be extorted.  Not even by some Asian Johnny Come Lately, not even when it devalues the company stock or when the guy they are letting go sells the most jerseys in the world.  So bravo to Dolan, Grunwald, Woodson, the Knickerbockers, the Rangers and the Garden.  And fuck you to Jeremy Lin.  Have fun in Houston, kid.  If you do, you’ll be the first.

Crack (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

Above are three videos about unlawful cannabis related arrests, the first two, victims’ tales, and the third, NYS Assemblymen Hakeem Jeffries, who lends perspective to what amounts to classic entrapment, thousands of cases per year, that are rubber stamped by the judicial system.  Perhaps most disturbing is that both victims, who were both arrested and cuffed and put through the system, did not smoke or possess any cannabis at all.  The racial aspect must also be found disturbing by any rational mind.  Lesser quantity cannabis crimes are exclusively sought by the NYPD, and every other PD in America, only in black and Latino neighborhoods, only in lower socio-economic sectors.

A lot to say here, and we don’t wish to muck it up with the usual avalanche of machine gun fire, as spraying ammo will surely dilute this most important cause.  The first reaction for anyone cannabis friendly at yesterday’s news of Governor Cuomo’s plan to decriminalize lesser quantities had to be a joyous one, for selfish reasons.  But let’s be real.  We white people, off in the burbs, or in the smart part of town, are far removed from the front lines where people actually get arrested for cannabis.  Can we not smoke all the live long day, on the street, without so much as one cop rolling by…for weeks on end?

God bless Governor Cuomo and all but the man is only saving himself and the state the expense of one hell of a class action lawsuit.  So 83% of the illegal arrests are comprised of black and Latin peoples.  We are surprised that number is so low.  Because all the arrests are going down on Malcolm X Boulevard, not on John Calvin Boulevard.  How did the other 17%, whites, Chinese and other, get swept up?  Why, they went to the ghetto so they must have been there to buy herb, of course.

And so operates your big city PD.  Lying, racial profiling, full blooded racist tyranny, every way you can possibly slice it.  So this new measure of Cuomo’s isn’t about cannabis at all, really, as much as it is about racial profiling.  To save the city from racist cops, we must reduce the purview of racist cops.  We must give them less license to stop people.  For anything.  And we’ll happily start with cannabis, thank you very much.  And it does get the movement a step closer to where it needs to be, but this here news is about racism, not weed.  Though the esteemed Assemblyman makes an excellent point about how the act of carrying the weed becomes an arrestable offense when you take it out of your pocket on the order of the police.

A friend of ours, and one of the smartest criminal lawyers we know, M. Chris Fabricant, author of Busted!, which is of biblical proportions, or should be, to anyone in the scene, once told me what to do if I was ever getting arrested and the advice has stuck and resonates the much more seeing these http://www.drugpolicy.org videos.  Chris told us that our only hope, the only hope, when in this situation, is to put your hands up high where everyone can see them and declare, on the top of your lungs, “I DO NOT CONSENT TO AN UNLAWFUL SEARCH!”  To say it over and over and make sure that someone hears you.  A decent judge is going to consider giving you a pass for an unlawful search and seizure.  By not taking the drugs out yourself, you have not shown the drug in public, which is the actual offense, since lesser quantities are already down to ticketable offenses, carrying small fines as penalties.

But again, let’s be real.  Is the judge throwing out many illegal searches that go down on Malcolm X Boulevard?  The second video, of the man who happened to be walking with a guy who had weed in his shoe, said it correctly when he said that really, we have no rights at all.  Even if you do have weed in your shoe, what has tipped the authorities so that they may bum rush you on a public street?  The only possible signs would be racially stereotyped.  Baggy clothes, off tilt baseball hat, skin color, and the worst of all, just because you happened to be where you are at.  Being in the “high intensity crime zone” in itself is essentially reason enough to stop a person.  Until they change the law.

We have to thank Ethan Nadelmann, Director of the Drug Policy Alliance, for bringing our attention to these videos, and for being the hot button man on topics such as these now for many, many years.  While we have not yet met the man ourselves, our good friends Sasha and Ann Shulgin have sung his praises, along with MAPS founder Rick Dobin, and we’d consider the two men the leaders in the fight against the war on drugs.  They put the truth out there and that’s hard to refute.  Everyone in the community should follow Mr. Nadelmann on Twitter in the very least, and join MAPS at your earliest convenience.

Be Active, Smart, and Careful!

Crackbillionair (https://crackbillionair.wordpress.com)

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